In Exactly Four Days

IN EXACTLY FOUR DAYS........

I will be standing on the beach in Florida,

requesting kleenex from those beside me,

to blot the sweat-mixed tears streaming down my face,

as I watch my best friend,

MARRY THE MAN OF HER DREAMS.

Talk about romantic.

A wedding.

On the beach.

On the 4th of July.

Now that's some serious fireworks.

Furthermore,

Talk about a long flippin' journey of friendship.

In honor of your upcoming nuptials, Kelly,

I opted to take you on a little photo journey

of our ever-growing relationship.

And at times,

it can be slightly embarrassing.

Buckle up.

It's a long ride.

TOGETHER:

we survived the awkard Jr. High years

(filled with less than mediocre dance moves

and apparently draw-string denim. yikes!)

 TOGETHER:

we survived MANY years of cheerleading camp

(and judging by this photo, it's probably a good thing

that you were the "flyer" and I stayed on the ground)

 TOGETHER:

we survived high school.

period.

we survived the drama of being a teen including but not limited to:

boyfriends (more for you than me)

break-ups

bitches

sleepovers

dippin' ice cream @ The Dairy Station

bad hair days

12 minute runs

proms
homecomings

and our fair share of dress-up days

(in which we ALWAYS participated)

obviously.

 P.S. Our "opposite sex day" photo above caused some

serious damage for my fiance.

In the words of Officer Bob:

"Please don't put that up.

You look too much like a dude and its freaking me out."

 TOGETHER:

we survived the "make bad decisions due to alcohol consumption" years

TOGETHER:

we've celebrated friends' weddings

and stood up next to others making that vow

(which looking at the second picture below......

why would someone let us stand next to eachother on their wedding day?)

 TOGETHER:

we have celebrated several years of birthdays

(some more memorable than others)

 I stood by and watched your amazing transition into motherhood.

And I watch you grow in that role every day.

I stood next to you on the day you were crowned

Homecoming Queen

And I can't belive in EXACTLY four days,

I will stand next to you on your wedding day.

You are a beautiful human being both on the inside and outside.

I thank God for blessing me with your friendship,

and I look forward to our friendship growing through

HUSBANDS, kids, mid-life crises, menopause, etc.

(Plus, I have to keep you close because in all reality,

you just know WAY too much.)

 In case I never tell you,

I LOVE YA, GIRL!

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your big day.
(and Officer Bob thanks you for making that big day
happen on a Florida beach....HELLO VACATION!)

Oh.....and Jamie........

You hurt her?

I remove your testacles.

One by one.

With a dull, rusty, pocketknife

Got it?

What's This 'Warrior Dash" Thing Everyone Keeps Talking About?

It's true what they say...........

There is no race comparable to that of the WD.

And like many of you who crossed the finish line in prior races,

I can now officially call myself a WARRIOR.

Talk about one helluva good time.

I knew it was going to be a fabulous day when Huracan showed up to my house on the morning of the race wearing his carefully crafted running attire.

Approximately 30 minutes into the drive north, however, Huracan began to doubt his fashion choice. A quick stop at a gas station at an undisclosed location resulted in the loss of undergarments and a grown man going commando for the remainder of the day.

We pulled into town around 10:30am for our 11:30am race thinking we would have plenty of time to prepare. WRONG! It might be a fair assumption to say that the entire population of the town was attempting to enter the race at the same time we arrived. The line of cars threatened a successful arrival. Luckily, The Llama chose to make a local police officer the man of her dreams, and he called with super secret back roads directions to the race site. Let's just say the approximately 200 cars that we passed were slightly unhappy. It's good to know people. Thanks, Beau!

Our later than planned arrival, resulted in a quick stop at the mud-stained (or what I hope was mud) port-o-johns and left just enough time for intimidating pre-race photos.

Don't worry......both Dancing Queen and I came equipped with proper licensure for carrying those guns around in a public venue.

The third female warrior in our crew was

quite the trooper in putting up with our antics.

That ass got plenty of stares over the course of the day. Jealousy, perhaps?

Maybe not.

A special shout-out goes to Officer Bob and The Llama for serving as official photographers and outstanding cheerleading squad. The day would just not have been the same without them. One advantage of including underage participants (*cough* Dancing Queen) in your crew is that the cheerleading squad (*cough* The Llama) gets to reap the benefits of the free beer ticket post-race. 

11:30am on the dot.

Go time.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE COURSE:

*Dancing Queen repeatedly shouting "I AM A WARRIOR"*

*A genuine attempt at sprinting up the never ending hill. FAIL!*

*Unbelievably fun slip n slides*

*Apologies to those positioned behind
Huracan's hairy backside during crawling obstacles.*

*Passing the meat head running in his underwear.

Keep working on the cardio, man*

*Shawnee's short-lived glance at female genitalia positioned above her. GROSS!*

*Why don't girls dress more practically for warrior-like obstacles?*

*Stopping to pose at nearly every obstacle
even when a camera was nowhere to be found*

*Jumping over fire while holding hands is definitely more difficult

and much more stupid than going it alone*

* At 6'5", Huracan had quite the height advantage. Especially when it came to crawling in the mud pit. The vertically challenged female members of our warrior crew had a more difficult time crawling (swimming) through the germ-infested waters.*

*Muddy body odor smells way WORSE than I had anticipated.*

*Dancing Queen always makes friends with the most interesting people*

*Post-race hydration/dancing is almost as fun as the race itself*

*Huracan is not afraid to strip down naked under a garbage bag*

*Final race time? 46:40.20*

*Does it really matter? No*

*Will I do it again? Absolutely!*

*And with no one else, but these two.*

*I couldn't be more proud to call them my siblings.*

Talk about a bonding experience......

Camera Found

FUN PHOTOS AS PROMISED.........

Pre-race Face

We're going to a race.

We're gonna win first place.

You have an ugly face!

Prior to listening to Dancing Queen complain

about her digestive system for 30 minutes

Running is fun!

And even more fun when you're running with Dancing Queen!

Easiest obstacle of the race?

The Gollywhopper!

Bad thing about going down

is somehow you have to get back up.

 I love meeting people at races.

This bride was getting married the same afternoon as the race.

I'm not so sure I'll be able to sway my bridal party

into an hour of torture on the morning of my wedding.

Post-race,

We survived.

And Dancing Queen found a restroom.

After a quick shower, it was off to wedding festivities.

And although Devin looked beautiful on her wedding day,

I believe this little girl may have stolen the show.

I seriously cannot get enough of Pebbles.

It's a sick obsession.

Sweetest moment of the evening?

Watching this adorable family of three share a dance.

CHECK BACK AFTER THIS WEEKEND

as I'm sure the photos will be much funnier and muddier.

Huracan, Dancing Queen, Big Boca Bob, and Shawnee

GUERREROS!

I Lost My Camera.......

and life cannot continue until it is found.

I have seriously amazing documentation of the following events and these photos are currently awaiting me to track down, locate, and post in the form of a blog, facebook status, etc.....

1. An obstacle race trail run in which Dancing Queen spent 20 of the 30 minutes in motion notifying innocent competitors that her bowels needed serious relief. One word. Hilarious.
2. Wedding fun
3. Reggie's Backyard Pool Party - Don't worry if you didn't get an invite.  His father (Officer Bob) tells me that the invites specifically said "No Bitches Allowed" He didn't even allow his own mother to attend.
4. Pebbles and Ice Cream - it doesn't get any cuter.
5. Crafting with The Llama. On a sidenote....I heart Pinterest.

PLEASE RETURN CAMERA IF FOUND.

My life depends on it. I have vowed not to eat until said photos are returned to me.

Please do not worry. I will not starve for days. I have plenty of body mass to last quite some time.

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STAY TUNED FOR FUN PHOTOS.

On the agenda for this weekend.......

1. BECOME A WARRIOR

Wedding Planning Is Kinda Sorta Fun

Wedding Dress?

Check. (and I couldn't be more relieved)

Sweet Ceremony Venue?

Check.

Rockin' Reception Hall?

Check.

Awesome Officiant?

Check.

Dynamic Disc Jockey?

Check.

Super Entertaining Photo Shoots with My Future Husband?

DOUBLE CHECK!

This weekend was spent under the flash of the camera taking incredibly amusing, laughter inducing, cover of Us Weekly worthy supermodel shots.

At first I wasn't so sure about this whole cinema theme for the wedding, but Mama Dirt was totally right! It's flippin' awesome! I have totally gone hog wild with the big-screen edition of our vows and Officer Bob truly is a saint for putting up with my antics. Daisy Duke and I may be the only two women in his life that could get him to wear polyester pants, moon boots, and a wig. But seriously......is this not great?

By the way......the photo manipulation program I downloaded for free has become tempermental and I am seriously thinking about terminating our friendship. Anyone have any suggestions for picture editing software? 

The premiere of Saturday Night Fever cannot get here soon enough!!!

Is it March yet?