Hot Mess Wedding Planners, Inc.
presents
"A Llama Wedding"
I'm pretty sure it was the PERFECT day for an outdoor wedding.
Here's how it all went down:
Friday
Hot Mess Wedding Planners, Inc. arrives.
"The Help" unloads the trailer as the women get to work.
Decor placed, bows tied, chalkboards written, banners hung, hot mess escalated.
Saturday Morning
Hot mess ensues.
Lemonade spilled on linens.
Yours truly curses heavily.
More decor completed.
Flowers delivered.
Yours truly compliments florist about a zillion times on the
INCREDIBLE fall arrangements.
Boutonnieres pinned.
Yours truly pops a couple vicadin to cure broken foot.
Kegs tapped.
Hot mess escalated.
Saturday Evening
A beautiful woman escorted by her father makes her way down the aisle
to the sound of the Big Boca Bob and El Aguila low-budget wedding band.
Groom's mother cries.
Bride's mother (and co-owner of HMWP, Inc.) breathes a sigh of relief.
The Llama and her man recite their vows as family and friends
whisper about the perfection of the day.
A small make-out session follows.
With a roar of applause,
the couple walk hand in hand for the very first time as a Mr. & Mrs.
The newlyweds hop on a four-wheeler adorned with deer antlers
and drive off into the sunset.
#America
Mr. & Mrs. Reid relish in their new start as a married couple as their son Dooley is slightly unimpressed with the lack of attention.
Saturday Night
Hot mess reaches an entire new level.
Bar opens.
Two Mexicans and a cracka serve up alcohol.
Drinks are served and dinner is consumed.
Bets are taken as to whether CareBear would allow
Pebbles to be taken from her for an entire evening.
Betting stops.
Pebbles leaves in the arms of her Aunt Mrs.
Big Boca Bob wins TWO dance-offs.
Dancing Queen, El Aguila, Huracan, and Big Boca Bob
totally show everyone up during their impromptu sibling line dance.
The Llama requires restroom assistance in her wedding dress.
Big Boca Bob volunteers for dress holding responsbility.
Big Boca Bob compliments The Llama on her choice of
super cute "Sexy Bride" underwear.
Bartenders reduce to ONE Mexican and a cracka.
(Huracan discovers his skills are more suited for the dance floor)
The Llama and Beau ride off together on a
big yellow school bus.
CONGRATS, MR. & MRS. REID.
Your big day could not have been more perfect.
I have no words of wisdom for your married life together seeing as how it has taken me seven years to convince someone to even consider the idea of wedded bliss. However, if your wedding day sets any precedence for the years to come, I would say you are in for a beautiful ride together.
Love you both.
P.S. Hot Mess Wedding Planners, Inc. is NOT for hire for at least 6 months. Wedding planning is no joke.
