Can You Tell I Need A Vacation?

WHEN I win the lottery...........

I'm going to fly here.

Using this jet.

Convince the bouncer to let me join the party at this bar.

 (using my priceless charm and extremely good looks)

(and when that doesn't work, paying him off with my new winnings)

Spend the night recreating epic music video choreography

on the dance floor with my future BFF.

Accepting drinks offered by this guy.

(as he comments on how beautiful my eyes are)

As this guy fights over my attention due to

our ridiculously compatible senses of humor.

Until I finally decide to focus my attention

on this man.

Who falls madly in love with me by the end of the night,

gives up his football dream,

proposes to me the next morning,

and asks me to move here.

And live in this villa.

Where we spend all day in bed

sipping on wine

laying in sheets of Egyptian cotton

until we decide to create the most adorable little babies

with beautiful complexion

who I teach to speak four languages.

THE END.

Summer Fun and Work Stress is NOT Conducive to Creative Blogging

Wow. Two weeks?

Has it really been two weeks since my last post?

I apologize to all the ADORING fans (*ahem* people who read this blog to feel better about their own lives) for the total lack in blog posts. The title of this post pretty much sums it up. I am totally taking advantage of the fact that Officer Bob is temporarily working day shift with every other weekend off by spending every waking moment I can with him - which he totally hates by the way (and I love completely annoying him with pointless stories just because he is home.....and he has no choice but to sit and listen.) I am also working some odd hours at the J.O.B. trying to cram in as much educational opportunity as possible (because the boss says I have to......obviously)

All in all......blogging has not been my most recent Numero Uno priority.

However.......I. Am. Back.

Holla!

Here's what you missed.......

• It pays to know extremely strong, good-looking, studly men to call when completing home projects such as fence-building...BUT in the off-chance that "those men" are not readily available, it also pays to know these guys.

 A HUGE, GINORMOUS, MEXICAN THANKS to Titty Baby, Rink, and Drewbug for taking time away from their busy lives to help construct an incredibly stable and awesome fence in record time. Even though I ended up with more concrete in my hair than in the ground.

 On a positive note, it did serve as a hairspray replacement for the following week.

I owe you boys big time, and I promise I will repay the debt if you ever need any landscaping done yourselves. I was born a professional, ya know.

• Reggie has now destroyed TWO, count 'em 1-2, couches at my house. After daily plea to rid our house of the demon dog, I have finally given up. I will now refer to him as Officer Bob's dog and refuse to throw down any scraps of dinner in his presence. When ya have a tummy full of couch stuffing, I hardly think you need table scraps to wash it down. Obedience training has been written into next year's budget.......correction: Obedience training has been written into Officer Bob's budget. I will be purchasing extra shoes and purses to mourn the loss of my most favoritest couch.

• Working with adults diagnosed with dementia proves to be a daily challenge. A challenge I continue to meet head-on. I pray for patience, compassion, and strength in my abilities to assist with such a terrifying disease.

• I recently took my car to my new favorite auto mechanic for a quick tune-up/oil change and was more than elated with the outcome. Not for the car.....but for my personal quest towards future life events. Officer Bob was less than amused that the attendant combined my first name with his last name on the final receipt, and I failed to correct the poor employee. I, however, found it to be hilarious, highlighted the mistake, and posted it in it's permanent position on the refrigerator. I can dream, can't I?

• I miss my siblings. I realize we are all maturing into fine young adults, but would it kill you chicanos to call a sista?! I put alot of thought into your personalized ringtones, and I would appreciate you making good use of them.

• In case I haven't mentioned it before, MY boyfriend is better than yours. His days off are spent mowing lawn(s), doing dishes, washing, drying, and folding laundry, googling recipes and making culinary masterpieces for dinner, and listening to my crying voice repeatedly state how "bleeping stressed out" I am. Kudos to you for putting up with me, boyfriend. I heart you.

• Mama Dirt is one amazing tower of strength. I envy her and her scooter (flat tire and all) for her courageous efforts in allowing our family to survive. If there is but one thing I can inherit from her, I truly hope it is her will to survive. I am proud of you, Mama. Know that even if we don't say it often, your children are truly thankful for the efforts you've made to ensure we are healthy, happy, and driven for life success.

• Beans Blab - no new update. Baby is maturing well, I hope. (Refer to previous mention of my siblings not calling me......I NEED a jingle, Huracan!)

• Gunther Gab - Baby Gunther/Pebbles is a fiery little jumping bean and mama CareBear is cuter than ever. Thanks to the crew of soon-to-be Aunts and Grandmas, the baby shower invites have been cut, glued, and tied with bows. Favors are almost done and cupcakes have been taste tested. All duties have been designated, and now we just wait for the fun to be had.

• I am going to win the lottery.

• So I can buy my Harley.

• And a side car for Officer Bob.

Next blog will not be a two week wait. Pinky swear.