Thursday, August 14, 2014

My Latest Obsession

My evenings these days are most often spent staring at this screen...


Squinting in an attempt to watch Bobbie Burrito's chest rise and fall signifying that she is indeed breathing. Please don't judge. I'm sure it's a first time mom thing that I will grow out of eventually. Sergeant Bob hopes that happens sooner than later as the volume of the monitor interrupts his late night viewing of Cops reruns. I swear there is a Cops marathon every other day and if you were to witness Sergeant Bob glued to the TV screen, the episodes apparently get funnier with each viewing.

I became brave enough to tear my eyes away from the night vision of the baby monitor long enough to become hooked on my latest obsession:


Since completing graduate school I have yet to have a job with normal working hours that allows for evening TV to be a part of my daily routine. This maternity leave has proven that I really wasn't missing out. However, I am 100% positive that Leah Remini and I were best friends in a former life. In that life I was also a famous TV star with a rockin' body and 6 figure paycheck. We would go on evening walks and come home to a glass of wine spending hours mocking the joke that is scientology and reminiscing about our latest party at J Los mansion at which I got into a dance off with a fly girl and won with my signature move - the Booty Bouncin' Bob.

I look forward to my Thursday evenings with my BFF as I get an amazing abdominal workout with an hour long belly laugh. If I wasn't already a member of two amazing families,  I would plead and beg my BFF to adopt a 28 year old sister because for realz - I want to spend more than just one day a week with this family.

Tonight the season finale airs, and I will spend my last night with Leah, Angelo, and the rest of the gang. I hope my pal Leah is able to hold back the tears as we say goodbye because I am not sure I will have the strength to do so.




Thursday, August 7, 2014

Introducing Bobbie Burrito

So this one time...........
 


I had a baby.

Let's just say I am absolutely LOVING motherhood and Sergeant Bob is a daddy pro. There are plenty of amusing stories to tell regarding the delivery of little Bobbie Burrito but I will spare you all of them. Sergeant Bob seems to be a more entertaining story teller of the moments leading up to our daughter's birth anyway - If you see him and ask, I am sure he will oblige.

Little Bobbie Burrito was born June 26th at 11:04am
weighing in at 7lbs 2oz and measuring 19in.



Sergeant Bob and I have successfully completed almost 6 weeks as parents and our love for this little being grows more and more every day if that is even possible.


Unfortunately, my love for my daughter is equally countered by my hatred for my post-baby bod. Yikes! Let's use a visual reference.

Big Boca Bob 6 weeks Pregnant



Big Boca Bob 38 weeks Pregnant



To say I thoroughly took advantage of those 9 months would be an understatement.

The goal?! - Achieve pre-baby weight by November 1st, 2014.

The past two weeks have been spent taking baby steps towards this goal - enter the use of the jogging stroller. An amazing piece of equipment with which I have a love/hate hate/hate relationship.

Observations Made While Attempting to Jog Post Baby (with a jogging stroller)
  1. A 5-month hiatus from your jogging routine results in complete loss of all endurance. Walking up the two step incline from the driveway to the back door causes shortness of breath. I'm sure you can imagine how jogging is going......
  2. There is a lack of genuine concern for the next generation. Playing chicken with a stroller is the most ridiculous game initiated by automobile drivers. If there is not a decent sidewalk, I WILL choose to stroll down the side of the street. I am a pedestrian WITH A CHILD. Please use that steering wheel to slowly go around.
  3. Jogging with a larger than average chest area proves to be difficult as mentioned before on this very blog. Jogging with a larger than average chest area that is now also storage for food for my child proves to be more than just difficult. I'll add this to the list of things they don't tell you in child preparation class.
  4. Furthermore - appropriately timing daily cardio workouts is a must unless you want to show off leaks of Niagara Falls proportions. It took me only ONE time to learn that I must head out for a jog AFTER baby eats.
  5. Jogging for me is not an easy task and it is made almost impossible at times when you add what feels like an extra 50 pounds of weight to push around. Jogging strollers feel light when you are just out for a leisurely stroll. They turn into giant rolling boulders when you attempt to run behind them.
  6. Have you ever tried running without the use of your arms - Hello Lack of Coordination! I am still not used to this task yet and I'm sure it is quite entertaining for passersby as I attempt to master it.
I'm so thankful that little Bobbie Burrito is still too young to see the humor and humility in my ridiculous appearance as I parade her around the streets of our small town. One day she will be able to vocalize her opinion of my choices so I will enjoy our daily bonding until that time comes.


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