The Big 5-0!

How to tell your aging.......

• Your back goes out more than you do.
• You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
• Your friend is dating someone half their age, and isn't breaking any laws.
• You sing along with the elevator music.
• You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
• You laugh, pee, sneeze, and fart all at the same time.
• Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
• It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
• Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
• "Getting lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
• The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
• You turn off the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.
• Your kids call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
• Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
• Your husband says, "Let's go upstairs and make love" and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"
• You don't care where Grand Puba goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
• An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.

Feliz Cumpleanos, Daisy Duke!

You did a hell of a job with the first 50 years!
Now here's to another half a century of happiness!

(Let's just hope that hammock holds up!)