Unsolicited Interview Advice

El Aguila has recently been gearing up for super important potentially life changing Med School interviews. Lucky for him, I am an expert in commitment issues and have succeeded in completing quite a collection of job interviews over the last five years.

So here goes........

HOW TO SURVIVE A MEDICAL SCHOOL INTERVIEW

"Tips from a sorta professional in a kinda medical related career field"

Written by Big Boca Bob

1. Browse TMZ's website every morning. Stay up to date on current events (i.e. Kim Kardashian's pregnancy and Justin Bieber may OR may not be smoking the reefer) so you have backup talking points if there is a pause in conversation. It also makes you appear more cultured. .
2. Show up 5 minutes late. It lets your interviewer know you had more important things to do that day. You live a more glamorous life than what some po-dunk medical school could offer you. When they ask why you were late, make up some sweet story about finishing a morning hike up Mt. Everest or running late from a meeting with The Trump himself discussing stocks and sipping on aged whiskey. They should feel privileged to have had the opportunity to meet with you - not the other way around.
3. After shaking hands, when they ask you to have a seat, do so in the biggest, fanciest, rolliest, chair behind the interviewer's desk. Tell him/her you wanted to take your future chair for a test drive. It shows confidence.
4. If you are asked, "What is your biggest strength?" proceed to stand on the desk and strike one hell of a flexed bicep pose. Ask where the gym is on campus because you want to continue to develop your personal strengths. It proves you are motivated for success.
5. Speak in a British accent at all times. There is a misconception in this country that all people from England are members of the royal family. Use this ignorance of Americans to your advantage.
6. Never (and I mean NEVER) wear a suit to an interview. Every other applicant will be wearing black, gray, or navy blue. Steer clear of these colors. Suggestions for attire include neon shades of green and pink paired with your BEST tennis shoes. It shows you are not afraid to break from the norm.
7. Prepare a handwritten resume on wide-ruled notebook paper. The art of writing is dying and employers appreciate your effort in expressing yourself by dotting your i's with hearts and putting smiley faces in all your o's. It shows personality and character.
8. Show your dedication by tattooing the mascot of the Med School at which you are interviewing on your future surgical hand prior to the interview - as long as that mascot is not a donkey. It might create an awkward moment if you shake your interviewer's hand with an ass.
9. If your cell phone rings during the interview, answer it and pretend its the director of a competing PhD program. You should never appear to have only one option.
10. ALWAYS end the interview with an exploding fist pound. Handshakes are for losers. Fist bumps are for winners. YOU ARE A WINNER.