Things I Learned This Past Week(end)

#1. Officer Bob should NOT let me hold anything with blades on it after a day of hard work at the house. When asked to simply even up his sideburns, I somehow took that as an opportunity to create my own interpretation of the task. Sorry about that, Officer Bob! I'm sure I won't be asked to fulfill the role of barber anytime soon. Hair grows back, right?
#2. It is apparently possible to vomit for almost 2 hours straight (liquid in/liquid out), sleep on the bathroom floor, and wake up fully recovered for work the following day. Officer Bob suffered from a 24-hour virus that left him snuggling with a pillow and blanket next to the porcelain throne. Daisy Duke at one point asked, "How long do you let some one vomit before you take them to the ER?" Answer - longer that 1.5 hours. Officer Bob is fully recovered and back to his upbeat, happy-go-lucky self.

#3. El Aguila is equally excited for football season as I. I'm still not sure if it was a great idea, but we have opted to upgrade our competitiveness for the season by entering the same fantasy league. IT'S ON!

#4. Homestead Resort Olive may look like a "shitty" color in the pan, but when it is beautifully painted onto family room walls, the room skyrockets in the ranks to become my favorite in the house. Officer Bob has narrowed down almost all the paint colors for the house, and he has outdone himself with this one. I knew I kept him around for something.

#5. DO NOT use GPS to get to my house. EVERY delivery truck has gotten lost on the the way to Casa de Bob due to this so-called advancement in technology. Apparently the GPS systems have not been updated to changes made in the heavy traffic layout of a town of 1200.

#6. A 12-day trip to Florida causes a young Mexican man to tan to a shade of dark chocolate. I have yet to see El Aguila in person, but if the following pictures are any form of visual proof, I would say that El Aguila spent every second of those 12 days laying on the beach soaking up the rays. I only make note of this because I.Am.Jealous.

#7. As much as I hate to admit it, I am one week closer to adding another member to the family. Every day, Officer Bob introduces me to a new pet found on a local shelter's website. He has even resorted to leaving the pictures up on the computer screen so I have no choice but to see the poor puppies' faces looking back at me every day. Each one says, "Adopt me, please?" I have lost all control and have officially thrown the white flag to Officer Bob. I would guess you will be seeing a post devoted to Gilbert's new brother/sister within the next couple weeks.

#8. Heat rises. Ok so I didn't just learn this, but I felt the effects of this phenomenon when trimming the highest point of vaulted ceilings. Poor Mrs E. knows what I am talking about as she too suffered through the heat in the name of succesful priming. Officer Bob and I truly appreciate your efforts, Mrs. E, and I have continued to mop drips of sweat off the dining room floor since you left.

#9. Officer Bob and I could should NOT go on the road with our own country singing stage show. After all helpers leave for the day, we blast the radio, and sing until 2am. I use the term sing loosely as its more of an attempt to keep up with the vocal stylings of Toby Keith, Zac Brown Band, and Brad Paisley. If you ever see free tickets given away for Country A La Bob, turn the other direction even if they are free. Trust me, your ears would be bleeding within the first five minutes of the show.

#10. 72 hours of paint fumes makes everyone a little delirious. That being said, Officer Bob does not have a future in modeling..........

Fitness Corner with Bob

At a little over 5'4" and stacked with some extra padding in all the necessary areas, I have never been described as a super athlete. I'm O.K. with this. I was never great at any particular sport or athletic event, and I have always been comfortable being fairly mediocre at just about anything requiring endurance and/or strength.

Until today.

I am minding my own business at the gym this morning working on my second set of dumbbell tricep kickbacks when a young gentleman approaches me. When I say he approaches me, I mean he punches my arm in a "long-time-no-see-buddy" kind of manner and gives a little head nod which I'm assuming is some sort of greeting in his meat-head egotistical world. I'm not so sure how to respond to this greeting so I simply give a head nod back thinking this will suffice his need for attention. Apparently this was not sufficient enough, and he signals for me to remove my headphones. I was reluctant to do so as I was in the middle of jamming to a little bit of Jackson 5 (don't judge), and I REALLY did not want to engage in any sort of conversation with this particular fellow. Unfortunately, against my better judgement, I remove only one ear bud (so I can still get a little bit of that "ABC...Easy as 1-2-3" buzzing in my other ear). He then has the nerve to say to me, "You using those?" and points at the dumbbells in my hand. OF COURSE I AM USING THEM! Are you kidding me? He interrupted a classic Jackson 5 song to ask if I am using a piece of equipment that I am CLEARLY exercising with at that very moment?! As I am about ready to politely respond to his initial question, he then says "Don't you think those are a little heavy?" OH NO YOU DIDN'T! (At this point, picture a stout Mexican chica snapping her fingers in Z-formation while simultaneously giving a little head rotation). This chicken-legged, bacon for brains, jackass did not just tell me that I am incapable of lifting a 20lb dumbbell. In my opinion, this comment did not need a response so I shook my head in disgust and reinserted the left ear bud only to find that one of my favorite workout tunes was now over. Thanks, jerk! I continue to finish my second set of tricep kickbacks and become more and more furious at the previous comment. This young (and it must be said NOT-so-attractive) male must have thought my peripheral vision was as weak as my right arm because he continued to watch me lift from his permanent station in front of the mirror. For some reason, I felt the need to prove myself to this cocky son of a b-word so I set down the 20lb dumbbell, picked up the 35lb dumbbell, and started my next set. I must make a note here to let you know that I have never performed this exercise with any weight higher than 25lbs. However, the anger raging through every inch of my body allowed me to execute the exercise with perfect technique for a maximum of 12 repetitions. I was almost positive I could hear my left tricep tearing, but NOTHING was going to stop me from proving to this asshole that I am perfectly capable of picking an appropriate weight at the gym. I finished my workout and was walking back to the locker room when who should walk by? But the very reason that I have been unable to move my arms for the past 5 hours. He starts to approach me again, and I am thinking to myself, "You have got to be kidding me?" It was at that moment that I hear the best four words of my week. He simply said "Insert. Foot. In. Mouth."

That's right, not-so-attractive gym rat! IN YO' FACE!


Now I must go ice my arms. Turns out vindication is pretty painful.

Casa Makeover Weekend Extravaganza

I wasn't so sure how this weekend would kick off after having such a successful Casa Makeover Day 1. I was bracing myself for the worst as I was sure one if not many things would go wrong. It doesn't help that when it comes to home improvement, I'm about as handy as a back pocket on a shirt. I realize this goes against by continuing efforts to maintain an optimistic attitude. This is just extremely hard to do when you are covered in paint, sweat, spackle, and any other odorous product utilized when performing household improvements. Trust me, I could smell primer and bleach seeping from my skin during this morning's run.

Saturday morning, I met Mr. Sunshine bright and early who came to clean the carpets. I'm not sure if it was caffeine or crack in the Carpet Weaver's coffee machine this weekend, but this employee was a beaming ray of perkiness with an annoying need to smile and speak at about 100 decibals. Too bad I left my headphones and alcohol in my other pants because they would have come in handy when dealing with Mr. Sunshine. It must be said, however, that he was just as good at cleaning carpets as he was at spreading happiness to the world. My carpets look awesome, and I'm not saying that just because I get 20 bucks back if I send a referral. I was very pleased with the outcome. Thanks Carpet Cleaning Man on Crack!

I then had to fulfill the dreaded duty of waking up Officer Bob. This is not a task that should be taken lightly. I believe Officer Bob inherited the grumpy morning gene from Grand Puba. He grunts at anyone who speaks to him during the first hour his eyes are open and shuffles down the stairs with a "Leave Me The HELL alone!" attitude. Trust me.....Officer Bob is a force to be reckoned with at any time followed by the letters a and m. His attitude remained this way for the better portion of Saturday morning, and he even resorted to name calling as a result of it. By 11:00am, I had been referred to as a bulls***ter, a wussy butt, and a pouty face. I am not going to deny the fact that all these names were very true, but the namecalling was a bit unnecessary.

Once back to the house, the work resumed and did not stop for the remainder of the weekend. I was about as busy as a one-legged man at a butt-kickin contest. Progress is finally becoming visual and offering motivation to forge ahead. A home makeover is not an easy task, but my go-go-gadget mentality has made the days seem less stressful. So far, I have had to rely mostly on my go-go-gadget springs (when jumping to the highest point of vaulted ceilings to cover painting mistakes by previous owners), go-go-gadget respirator (to prevent me from inhaling fumes upon fumes of primer and paint, and go-go-gadget mallet (for when Officer Bob gets out of line). Unfortunately, the go-go-gadget naptime was broken and has been for the last two months. Just to show that work was indeed accomplished, I have provided you with more photographic proof.

Mrs. E washing windows And doesn't she look great doing it!

The PREVIOUSLY purple room. Goodbye Barney! Hello Wet Pavement!

(By the way....I want a job as a paint color namer. Easiest. Job. Ever.)

I have experienced several memorable moments over the past weekend, and as a conclusion to this post, I would like to share with you my top three favorites.

#3. Overhearing The Llama testing her skills as a cheerleading coach. Mr. and Mrs. E, Shorty, and Runt stopped by, and The Llama kept the girls entertained. However, I have some reservations about The Llama's future in the biz of cheerleading due to her choice of cheers. "Kick 'em in the left knee, kick 'em in the right knee, kick 'em in the weenie! Make a basket!" Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've never seen A. A basketball game that involves "kicking" of other players - when did basketball become a contact sport? nor B. A group of junior high cheerleaders shouting the word weenie from the sidelines. I can't wait till Shorty and Runt show up for cheerleading practice to teach the rest of the squad what their Aunt showed them this weekend. Be prepared, The Llama.....you may be getting a few phone calls from other girls' parents. Better not quit your day job! (Although.....I bet you would look pretty cute in that uniform!)

#2. The satisfaction of actually seeing the words "Karma's a B*&%h" played out. Titty Baby and CareBear came over late one night to see the progress of the house. Titty Baby started off by sharing his interior decorating tips. He informed me that it would be a poor choice to place anything valuable below the steps in the entryway to the family room as an attendee of the first Cinco de Mayo fiesta who consumed one margarita too many may take a stumble down those stairs destroying everything in his/her path. Keep in mind that I'm pretty sure he was not referring to just any anonymous person but rather himself and he wanted to make sure he wouldn't be replacing anything too expensive come May 5th. I then began showing CareBear my favorite parts of the house. One of those consisted of the contents of my kitchen cabinet. I stated, "Look! My cabinet even has a lazy Susan!" (sidenote: I really am super excited about this feature because I, like many of my hispanic race, was not blessed with a tall stature, and I will now be able to reach ALL contents of this particular cabinet). The lazy susan comment was then followed by the following statement from the one and only brain-to-mouth filter-lacking Titty Baby. "No way! All my kitchen has is a Lazy CareBear!" The glare of CareBear at this moment would have pierced through steel, and Titty Baby knew he better shut his trap. However, this is Titty Baby we are talking about, and he lacks the ability to do so. Not but 30 seconds later, he then referred to his wife as "Thickburger" and the battle was on. Titty Baby took off into the family room faster than green grass through a goose and CareBear was on his tail, hand in the shape of a fist, and a look even El Diablo would run from. Little did Titty Baby know that Gilbert had used the family room earlier that day as his own water-slopping rehydration area, and the floor was covered in water/dog slobber. I was not present for the actual Tumble of the Titty Baby, but the sound itself was enough to vibrate the windows in every room. At this point, CareBear was laughing too hard to vocalize any remorse and Officer Bob and I ran into the family room just in time to see this........



A grown man wailing on the floor yelling "I think I'm broken!" Let's be honest. Not a single person in that room felt sorry for the Titty Baby as we realized at that moment that karma really is a b*&%h. Without skipping a beat, CareBear followed the fall by stating, "You better not put anything valuable in this area (while waving arms around the sulking Titty Baby still in position on the floor wailing in pain). Note taken, CareBear. Next time Titty Baby, try to use the brain-to-mouth filter we all know you've been hiding for the last thirty years. Let it be said. The Tumble of the Titty Baby will not be forgotten.

AND #1. Spending quality time with Officer Bob priming the spare bedroom at midnight, and hearing him use the phrase "our house" in a sentence. It's reassuring we are in this together. <3

Casa de Bob

The house hunt is over.
The dotted line is signed.
Officer Bob has reluctantly agreed to a life of poverty.
It's official.

Big Boca Bob and Officer Bob are HOMEOWNERS!

As mentioned previously, CareBear saved the day with her GIANT canister of Home Defense. This picture is not photoshopped. These alien spiders took over when the sun went down, and I was afraid to enter/leave the house with these eight-legged, steroid-taking, poor excuse for a living creatures lurking outside both the front and back doors. Luckily, CareBear has even a greater hatred for the species and I followed her around the house as she drowned them in chemicals shouting, "DIE SPIDER DIE!" I'm sure the neighbors now believe there is a mentally unstable woman moving into the neighborhood. The sound of doors being locked at the surrounding houses made me realize I may have not made the best first impression.
Turns out painting must be quite the workout. Five minutes into it, Officer Bob looked down to see Gilbert on the floor in this position. What I didn't tell him was I was doing the same thing in the empty spare bedroom. We were both tuckered out.
Even Gilbert got in on the painting action. He was responsible for retrieving the rollers for us. Anything to keep him busy!
I made Officer Bob snap this photo just to prove that I was working too.
Once again.....the purple walls are not staying. As much as I enjoy most things associated with the color (grapes, violets, jam, lavender, etc.), I still despise that singing dinosaur that's been haunting my dreams since childhood. I refuse to have the color of Barney splattered on any wall in this house. Officer Bob is a paining professional. I believe he is regretting ever telling me that he used to be employed by a painting business. Since divulging this information, several decisions have been made regarding how much painting will be done in the house. The list consists of EVERY ceiling, EVERY wall, EVERY piece of trim, EVERYthing. Poor Officer Bob. Luckily, I have become his apprentice and am quite the fast learner.
The following task was completed during the cries and whines of The Llama shouting, "I can't believe I'm cleaning somebody else's s$#t!
Daisy Duke hard at work cleaning the kitchen cabinets. Her cleaning skills are second to none. Mr. Clean has some competition with this one. Come to think of it......ever thought of shaving that head, Daisy Duke?
KitchenDining Room
Family RoomIt is going to be a LONG road, but we are ready for the challenge. Please pray for us as we have decided to paint every ceiling, every wall, and every piece of trim. And by we.....I pretty much mean I decided and Officer Bob agreed. You will find that is how most decisions are made between us. A BIG thank you to Daisy Duke, The Llama, CareBear, and Titty Baby for their help during CASA MAKEOVER DAY 1. Daisy Duke led the troops with (as The Llama would say) her cleaning nazi skills. Also thanks to to The Llama for performing duties underneath the ranks of Daisy Duke and serving as a great babysitter for Gilbert. And a special thanks to CareBear for saving the day with Home Defense spray at about 11:00pm last night when the spiders took over the front yard. CASA MAKEOVER DAY 1 was a success.

There are many stories to tell, but little time. For now, you will just have to be content with the less-than-mediocre photography until God grants me another 12 hours in the day.

Living Room

The turqoise walls are NOT staying. If you plan on coming over before this room is finished, remember to bring your solar eclipse goggles to protect your eyes when looking at these walls.

Roll Out The Red Carpet..........

I have forewarned "most" of the individuals who may make a regular appearance in my newly-formed creative writing habit. For the rest of you....surprise! You really should take it as a compliment that I consider you a consistent member of my social circle. OK....who am I kidding, between work and trying to close on a house, I really have had no time for socializing. The individuals listed below have been forced to hang out with me due to family obligation. What can I say though, I gotta love them!

Without further ado.......Now introducing.......

THE BIG BOCA BOB BLOG CAST!

STARRING:

 Big Boca Bob and Officer Bob. Big Boca Bob recently received her M.S. degree in Exercise Physiology (hold your applause) and now earns a living working as a Fitness/Aquatics Manager. She also enjoys personal training and teaching group aerobics. This does not, however, mean that she incorporates her teachings/knowledge into daily practice. If you see her eating a double cheeseburger and sippin' on a Coke, please don't take that as an opportunity to use her career field of choice against her. In her free time she enjoys hittin' the club scene as her dance moves are ALWAYS on point! (right, girls?). She also enjoys quality time with her boyfriend, Officer Bob. Officer Bob brings home the bacon by fulfilling his duties as a correctional officer for a county jail. He has a heart of gold and would do anything for anybody. He enjoys taking Gilbert for walks, and spending hours on end playing his PS3. Soon you can also add fixing up a house (painting, cleaning, yardwork, etc) to his current list of hobbies. He is told quite regularly that he is a saint for putting up with the antics of Big Boca Bob every day. (I'm still not quite sure what that means.)

SUPPORTING ROLES:

Mama Dirt and Osama Bin Father. Mama Dirt currently works as a receptionist for a small town physician. She has done an amazing job raising four fabulous children, and she has come to the realization that her job as a mother will NEVER end. I can't take credit for Osama Bin Father's nickname, but it's perfect, right? I mean....a beard like that takes some work. I initially thought twice about using the most well known terrorist's name on a blog for fear that government agents would soon be stationed outside my living room. However, I came to the conclusion that if Lindsay Lohan only gets 13 days in jail for what seems like 8 DUI charges and 2 counts of public stupidity, I should have nothing to worry about. Osama Bin Father is a quiet, gentle man who enjoys reading and repeating the same damn jokes for over 20 yearss.

Daisy Duke. Daisy Duke wears several hats for the family including proud mother of Officer Bob and his three siblings, primary bread winner for the family (now that Grand Puba has turned to a life of listening to Jimmy Buffet and leisurely rides on the Harley), laundry extraordinaire, and all around great gal.

Grand Puba. Grand Puba recently retired from the law enforcement biz and now spends his time napping, riding the Harley, yelling at the pets, and annoying Daisy Duke. All of which he does with a certain amount of class like no one else. Officer Bob and I will be relying heavily on Grand Puba during the next few weeks for his expertise in home repair.

SPECIAL APPEARANCES BY:

Huracan. My older (yet definitely NOT wiser)brother, Huracan, currently attends QU and has even snagged himself the former university mascot, Victor E. Hawk, as his loving girlfriend. Trust me....its true...I couldn't make that up. Huracan will soon be a M.S. graduate and on the search for new and exciting adventures in life. I'm just hoping those new and exciting adventures don't lead to mooning people, Mexican Judo, and songs about a dirty sanchez.

El Aguila. My younger (and as much as I hate to admit it) wiser brother. El Aguila and I have been by far the most competitive siblings of the bunch. He may have received the athletic and academic genes, but I got the looks, damn it! El Aguila spends his free time running, teasing his girlfriend, and let's not forget running. He is currently attending ISU with the hope of becoming a doctor. Way to show me up yet again, El Aguila! You couldn't have just spent your days wasting hard earned drug money on strippers and cheap liqour?

Dancing Queen. Poor Dancing Queen spends her days listening to voices repeatedly stating, "You look exactly like your sister!" She is forced to live with my exceptional responsibility of being ridiculously good looking. Dancing Queen and I are two peas in a pod. We share many of the same interests, and commonly get mistaken for one another. We usually solve this by telling people that I'm the brown one and she's the white one. Dancing Queen is a senior this year (I can't believe it), and enjoys dancing like there's no tomorrow and making bonfires with her tight-knit group of friends. She has a contagious personality, and a love for life like none other.

Titty Baby. Titty Baby is the affectionate husband of CareBear and the outspoken, outlandish, brother-in-law of Officer Bob. He is well known for his abilities to throw a rockin' annual Halloween party, chug lunchboxes, and quickly respond to the crying call of a girl whose car just caught on fire (it happened). He also has the uncanny ability to sell anything. He would sell his mother if it meant a great profit.

CareBear. Several nicknames came about when deciding on a moniker for Officer Bob's older sister. CareBear was by far the most vocal regarding her blog name. CareBear works as an early childhood teacher. She gets to hang out with babies all day....lucky her! Speaking of which...we would all like to know when CareBear and Titty Baby are gonna have one of their own! CareBear is known for her opinionated personality and lack of patience for individuals with no common sense. No worries though...her bark is worse than her bite.

The Llama. Ever seen Napolean Dynamite? Great...let me introduce you to Officer Bob's younger sister, The Llama. She has a great love for animals and is currently in her last semester student teaching before receiving a degree in Special Education. The Llama may not be the classiest gal you've ever met, but her lack of table manners and lack of common sense are what make her truly unique! I have no doubt she will accomplish great things in life.

Mr. and Mrs. E, Shorty and Runt. Though we don't get to see Officer Bob's older brother, wife, and their two children as often, we really enjoy their company when we get the chance. Mr. and Mrs. E recently got married in Cocoa Beach, Florida on a lovely sunny day. The talkative girls, Shorty and Runt, are as cute as can be. Congrats again, Mr. and Mrs. E, on your marriage and happy family!

The Big Boca Bob Blog cast has officially been unveiled. For those of you that don't like your blog name....I don't care. My blog, my rules. I will have to forewarn you, however, that the paparazzi may be after you soon. You are now officially in competition with the Edward vs. Jacob saga for front page news. Stay photogenic, blog cast!

(Btw...I'm most definitely Team Jacob. Have you seen those abs?)

Time to Make a Doggoned Decision

Those of you who truly know me understand my great affinity for furry friends. However, I am currently at a crossroads. Officer Bob and I rescued our baby, Gilbert, a year and half ago, and we have been a happy trio ever since. However, since starting the house hunt about 6 months ago, I was told by Officer Bob that a new house will result in a new sibling for Gilbert. I have put off the conversation by sidetracking Officer Bob with talk of the Packers or recent events at work. Apparently this tactic could only work for so long. We close on our house this week, and talk of an additional pet has escalated into begging, pleading, and the occasional whining from a grown man in uniform. Too bad he looks so cute when he whines. Unfortunately, I can no longer delay the inevitable. A decision must be made, and because I am a visual person, I have opted to make a pro/con list. Continuing with my recent influx of optimism, I will start with the pros.

• Just the sight of a puppy face has the ability to turn my frown upside down. Isn't he too cute?! So innocent and playful, I smile every time I look at this puppy face.
• Knowing I am saving a life. It kills me to walk through a shelter and see puppy face after puppy face just praying and hoping for a weak individual such as myself to cave and take them home. What's worse? Those stupid animal cruelty commercials with Sarah McLachlan singing that oh so emotional angel song. Give me a break!! I am not a crier and that commercial pulls at my heart strings so bad that the tears come a rollin'. Catch me during that "special time" and I am nothing but a ball bag wailing on the couch covered in tear-soaked kleenex every time it shows. Maybe Animal Planet isn't the optimal viewing network during my emotional week.
• Snuggling. I have been a snuggler my entire life. Officer Bob is unable to fulfill this need as he works second shift and is annoyed easily with my desire to be cuddled on a daily basis. His idea of snuggling is sitting on opposite sides of the couch sharing a blanket. I thank him for the effort, but I need more in life. This is where Gilbert comes in. Just imagine if I had two babies to lay with during TV time every night.

• This face.......getting Officer Bob to smile for any photograph has by far been one of the biggest struggles of my fairly short life. I've tried multiple tactics (even resorted to tickling at one point), but all to no avail. However, throw Gilbert in the picture and the smile comes out. I would hope that the addition of another furry child would create more photographic opportunities such as this.

• An additional pet would lead to an additional reason to enjoy exercise in the great outdoors. I would no longer have an excuse to skip out on walks with my boys because two pets means two leashes means two walkers.

• Another birthday to celebrate. I rarely even need a reason to bake a cake and throw a party, but with the addition of a family member, I would have yet another cause for a fiesta!

• Playing dressup! As much as Officer Bob hates to see his only child dressed in attire of any kind, I enjoy putting my sewing skills to the test in order to construct a new outfit for my baby. Just imagine what I could do with two pets! I played with dolls through my entire childhood, why stop now, right?

• A new brother/sister would be great entertainment for Glbert. This past week Gilbert's cousins, Gracey and Shadow (pictured above), have taken up residence in the same household as Gilbert. It has shown me how much Gilbert truly loves quality time with other animals. With Officer Bob working second shift and my job requiring a few long hour days, what's better than investing in an additional pet to act as a babysitter for Gilbert?

And now for the dreaded cons, I know I said I chose the pros first due to my optimistic attitude. However, I really chose to list the cons second just to bring me back to reality. Here we go.......

• The sheer size of Officer Bob's breeds of choice. Gilbert is pictured above with his favorite Aunt (don't tell The Llama I said that) at just 10 weeks old. Even though she has a very small frame (and by small I mean her entire body could fit in my right thigh), she is barely able to hold this 10 week old puppy. Gilbert has been told by many who have met him that he resembles a small horse. In fact, his size is what got him his name. It is no secret that both Officer Bob and I are Green Bay Packers fans. Gilbert "The Gravedigger" Brown established his career as a nose tackle for the Packers in the nineties simply for his rhino-like build. Our puppy and he have this fluffy body in common. I am still struggling with the idea of allowing another 100lb beast to have free range of a newly purchased home.
• My recent loss of 6 pairs of shoes, a softball glove, and a hat. Gilbert has taken up chewing on my personal items in his spare time. I'm not sure what he has against his mother, but it seems as though he targets only my property. I understand I have broken a promise of a walk or two, but I don't understand his need to destroy perfectly good heels. I'm afraid he may teach a new brother/sister this habit resulting in my need for a whole new closet of shoes. Now that I think about it, this may not be a bad idea after all!

• The loss of my 1/3 of the bed. Gilbert is quite the bed hog. There is not nearly enough room on a queen size bed for two adults and a small horse, but somehow we can make it work. However, add a fourth and we will have to invest in a new bed for our slumber parties. Four is definitely a crowd, and I'm not ready to give up my sleeping space.
• $$$$. Being a pet owner is not cheap. An additional dog would require increased costs of food, treats, and toys.
• Forget pooper scooper, try s%$t shovel. I don't want to picture the amount of poo that would be created from another animal. I am not about to spend my evenings shoveling horse turds from my new backyard. That would be a great job for the individual who propositioned this idea in the first place. Have fun, Officer Bob!

Okay.....so you've heard it all. What's a girl to do? While I take these next five days to decide, please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as the end result will either A. Cause a grown man in uniform to sulk around the house or B. Cause a grown woman to spend her free time vaccuming hair, scooping poop, replacing chewed shoes, etc. Officer Bob's attempt to sway my mind by taking me to the mobile animal shelter bus may have worked for the time, but I have alot of pondering to do. (Note: Any additional opinions from an outside persepective are more than welcome)

P.S.
Okay.....who am I kidding. We all know Officer Bob will most likely come home with a four-legged brother/sister for Gilbert with a face similar to this, I will fall in love, and then complain for weeks after. God Help Me.