#burritobeat2015 Day 25

Reunited - and it feels so good! It was clearly an exhausting weekend for both parties pictured. Bobbie Burrito received an A+ report from Grandma Dirt Daycare and Big Boca Bob received an A+ from Sergeant Bob for emotionally surviving her first weekend away from the almost 7 month old  ball of cuteness. We spent the afternoon singing, snoring, and snuggling. Life really doesn't get any better.

Who invented the concept of Monday mornings?  I'm really despising that jerk right now. 

#burritobeat2015 Days 22 & 23

Day 22: Mom spent the day mentally preparing for her first weekend away from Bobbie Burrito.  No tears were shed. Nerves? Now those are a different story.

Day 23: Hitting the slopes with my snow bunny hunny. No broken bones and all smiles! Hopefully Grandma Daycare can give the same report!  

What Happens In Vegas............

Stays in Vegas.

Unless you are the author of a blog - in which case all stories will be posted for public viewing.

Sorry, Sergeant Bob.

The Bobs returned last night from a 4 night stint in Sin City and though I am a fan of the rock star lifestyle, I must admit I was ready to come home to my quaint little life. I have been spoiled by small town living for the majority of my existence and sometimes I forget how big, awkward, R-rated, and extremely weird this world and it's inhabitants can be. "Vegas After Dark" was a great reminder!

Key Points/Observations:

• The Dramamine/Ginger mix is a lifesaver in curing motion sickness. - Sergeant Bob has struggled all 28 years of his life with nausea in all modes of transportation (cars, boats, trains, planes, etc.....) He started the Dramamine/ginger cocktail 24 hours prior to Vacation Day 1 and remained consistent with his dosage. Results? No airborne vomiting. One "in flight" sarcastic, obnoxious, happy go lucky husband. One "in flight" annoyed wife. I think I liked him better before he found the cure. 
  
• Two words. Complimentary Upgrade. - Upon arrival at the Luxor Hotel & Casino, we were greeted with a room upgrade during our stay. Hello big screen TV and larger than life bathtub. Sergeant Bob would have stayed all four days in his rock star room had I let him.
  
• Buffets are overrated. - When booking the Vegas Vacation, several friends/family gave input on the must-haves and go-tos in the big city. All mentioned the glorious buffets for which the city is known for. However, The Bobs soon realized that the heat of the Nevada sun does little for one's appetite and the buffet is not so much worth the wait. Food? Meh. Ok. Line? Ridiculously unnecessary. Cost? Maybe worth it for the gamblers. Overall Experience? 6 out of 10.
• Celebrity sightings make me giddy. - I act like an overexcited teenager in the company of celebrities. I am not known to muzzle my enthusiasm and being so close to the self-proclaimed Mindfreak made me squeal with joy. Sergeant Bob suggested the purchase of front row seats to Criss Angel's Cirque de Soleil show and while I was skeptical of the seat placement, I reluctantly agreed. This show is MESMERIZING. My husband touched Criss Angel with his bare hand and I immediately grabbed it, held it to my own, and sighed in amazement. I vowed to never wash the hand that touched the hand that touched the hand of Criss Angel. Ahhhh.........Other celebrity sightings included Ndamukong Suh and Pete Rose. If you don't know who they are, we can not be friends.
  
• Heels are a poor choice for footwear. - Wanting to fit in with the fashion fads of the big city, I made sure to pack my "hot heels" for nights out. I wore them once. The Strip does not accommodate high heeled women. Blisters will form, arches will ache, and wives will pout. I learned my lesson. 
• Sin City cocktails will knock you out. - During date night at a fancy smchancy steakhouse (at which I had the delectable lamb and Sergeant Bob opted for the tender bison), I ordered a cool cucumber cocktail to partner my meal. Remember the heels? Try walking in those after consuming said cocktail. Wowza! Luckily I was able to sober up next to my new boyfriend, Criss.
  
  
  
  
• Husbands will go to all lengths to please their wives on vacation. - Maybe this is just my husband. In that case, I consider myself extremely lucky. At the pleading of his wife, Sergeant Bob made the hour long trek down the strip (one way) not once, not twice, not three times, not four times, but FIVE times during the course of our stay in order to capture photography of the best sights and sounds of Vegas both in the sun AND after dark. That totals AT LEAST 10 straight hours of walking time. That, my friends, is love. P.S. Two of those walks ended in show cancellations and Sergeant Bob didn't bitch once about it. 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
       
• Ziplining offers the most amazing adrenaline rush. - If you can first survive the long, super vertical, 20 lb equipment toting free hike up the very scary rail-less mountain, the ride down via zipline will cause your heart to jump to your throat and your blood to rush with a mixture of emotions including but not limited to fear, joy, and excitement. My palms are still sweating as an after effect of that first ride down. After polling both parties, the Bootleg Canyon Zipline scored highest in best Vegas experience. I can't describe to you in words the beauty of the views atop the mountains or the sensation of gliding 2500 ft at 65 mph with nothing but two small caribiners holding you in place - truly memorable experience with the love of my life.
  
  
  
  
• The mixture of alcohol and sun exposure bring out the crazy in people. - I devoted Saturday to a dear friend's bachelorette party in the city of Sin. 8 hours of pool time soaking up the rays and sipping on expensive domestics led to sights I will never be able to erase from my memory. I'm not sure if it's because I am in my LATE 20's or if it's due to my recent nuptials, but I will never understand the male-female interactions taking place that day. I could literally see the STD's jumping from one person to the next. Drunk people are funny. Horny and funny. Thank god for the chlorine in the pool. It kills everything, right?
  
  
• Vegas Nightclubs are NOT for the faint of heart. - You have not truly lived until you experience the COMPLETE CHAOS of Vegas nightlife. Club promoters LOVE bachelorette parties because club promoters LOVE drunk girls because club promoters LOVE drunk guys that will spend their entire life savings trying to impress and/or bed said drunk girls. It's a not-so-clever technique for increasing profit. Due to the nature of our celebration, we girls received free access to an exclusive club at the end of the strip. The term exclusive can be defined as loud, obnoxious, dark, creepy, awkward, ridiculous, and a multitude of other negative adjectives. I. Just. Don't. Get. It. Light Nightclub boasts a PITCH BLACK atmosphere as characters of all shapes, sizes, and levels of creepiness rub up on you while characters of equal freakiness shine spotlights down on the gyrating dancers below. My anxiety hit a new level when hands were rubbing all over me in the darkness and I knew they DID NOT belong to me. I was not mentally prepared to witness the outfit choices of my peers and even the free drinks being handed to us by men looking for more than I was willing to offer were not enough to entice me to stay. My Exclusive Vegas Nightclub experience was short lived. 

The Bobs truly loved the overall Vegas experience, and though we may not be experts, if you are looking to travel to the NV any time soon, please let me know if you need any tour guide advice. You just can't beat the food, fancy, and fun that this city has to offer and I'm overjoyed that I was able to cross off Summer of 2013 bucket list items.

Final Rating? 8.5 out of 10.

Livin' La Vida Loca

WARNING:

The following post is long. Very long.

It should be about 5 separate posts.

BUT

this is proof that I haven't just been sitting around on my lazy bum waiting for something fabulous or funny or completely ridiculous to happen in my life so I could write about it. My life over the past month has been fabulous, funny, and completely ridiculous, and I am just now recovering from it all.

Life Event #1

Small yet Eventful Bachelorette Party in Arizona

We were cute.

(in all the pictures early in the evening)

 But after a few pitchers of adult beverages,

all photogenic qualities went right out the window.

And apparently so did all proper decision-making skills

and abilities to differentiate between appropriate and non-appropriate

ways to act in public areas.

Exhibit A:

Big Boca Bob's extremely unneccessary

"Baby Got Back" choreography.

(although you have to admit, the piano is an exceptional prop)

Exhibit B:

Big Boca Bob's poor decision to remove her bra

and place said bra on the piano player's head.

(Sorry Mama Dirt)

Exhibit C:

Big Boca Bob's constant proclamation

that she "shared a moment" with the piano player.

(he was practically seducing me with his eyes - I swear!)

Exhibit D:

Best Friend/Bridesmaid unable to stand

straight up in elevators.

BUT still able to pull of rockstar poses

in all pictures

And concluding with Exhibit E:

Finding a rock hard kitchen floor as the

most comfortable sleeping quarters for the evening.

(even the dogs couldn't handle it)

So.......what's the best cure for an overwhelming bachelorette hangover?

A little Bailey's in your morning coffee of course!

 And a trip to Margartitaville early in the morning when the sun is shining VERY bright into your squinting eyes amplifying the pounding in your head and instigating nausea.

Followed by mimosas by the pool

(obviously)

And capped off with Bailey's milkshakes in the hot tub.

(DUH!)

Phew!

A whirlwind of a weekend

with some pretty great friends

making some pretty sweet memories.

The end.

Life Event #2

A 6.5 mile tortorous hilly race with two of my three favorite siblings.

(And one pretty cute cheerleader)

Aaron Rodgers? - check!

State Farm Agent? - check!

Discount Double Check Guy? - discount double check!

Trying running for an hour wearing a wedge of cheese on your head.

I had to have burned at least 300 extra calories just trying to keep that thing on.

Remember that cute cheerleader I mentioned?

I honestly was just about as happy to cross the finish line of this race

as I was to cross the finish line after my marathon.

Springdale Cemetary = 2.Many.Hills

 Life Event #4

Halloween.

Beans.

Oompa Loompa.

Adorbs.

The end.

Life Event #5

A fun-filled weekend sleepover with my favorite little Mexican niece.

And just like Pebbles,

Beans likes her Uncle Officer Bob better.

Heart is crushed.

Until I look at pictures like this.

 How can you not smile at that face?

Now.......

you may be asking yourself,

Where was Officer Bob while I was off enjoying life?

Two words.

Video Games.