So Here's What You Missed.........

Hot Mess Wedding Planners, Inc.

presents

 "A Llama Wedding"

I'm pretty sure it was the PERFECT day for an outdoor wedding.

 

Here's how it all went down:

 

Friday

Hot Mess Wedding Planners, Inc. arrives.

"The Help" unloads the trailer as the women get to work.

Decor placed, bows tied, chalkboards written, banners hung, hot mess escalated.

 

Saturday Morning

Hot mess ensues.

Lemonade spilled on linens.

Yours truly curses heavily.

More decor completed.

Flowers delivered.

Yours truly compliments florist about a zillion times on the

INCREDIBLE fall arrangements.

Boutonnieres pinned.

Yours truly pops a couple vicadin to cure broken foot.

Kegs tapped.

Hot mess escalated.

 

 

Saturday Evening

A beautiful woman escorted by her father makes her way down the aisle
 to the sound of the Big Boca Bob and El Aguila low-budget wedding band.

Groom's mother cries.

Bride's mother (and co-owner of HMWP, Inc.) breathes a sigh of relief.

 

The Llama and her man recite their vows as family and friends

whisper about the perfection of the day.

 

 A small make-out session follows.

 

 With a roar of applause,

the couple walk hand in hand for the very first time as a Mr. & Mrs.

 

 

 The newlyweds hop on a four-wheeler adorned with deer antlers

and drive off into the sunset.

#America

 

 Mr. & Mrs. Reid relish in their new start as a married couple as their son Dooley is slightly unimpressed with the lack of attention.

 

 Saturday Night

Hot mess reaches an entire new level.

Bar opens.

Two Mexicans and a cracka serve up alcohol.

Drinks are served and dinner is consumed.

Bets are taken as to whether CareBear would allow

Pebbles to be taken from her for an entire evening.

Betting stops.

Pebbles leaves in the arms of her Aunt Mrs.

Big Boca Bob wins TWO dance-offs.

Dancing Queen, El Aguila, Huracan, and Big Boca Bob

totally show everyone up during their impromptu sibling line dance.

The Llama requires restroom assistance in her wedding dress.

Big Boca Bob volunteers for dress holding responsbility.

Big Boca Bob compliments The Llama on her choice of

super cute "Sexy Bride" underwear.

Bartenders reduce to ONE Mexican and a cracka.

(Huracan discovers his skills are more suited for the dance floor)

 

The Llama and Beau ride off together on a

big yellow school bus.

 

CONGRATS, MR. & MRS. REID.

 

Your big day could not have been more perfect.

I have no words of wisdom for your married life together seeing as how it has taken me seven years to convince someone to even consider the idea of wedded bliss. However, if your wedding day sets any precedence for the years to come, I would say you are in for a beautiful ride together.

 

Love you both.

 

P.S. Hot Mess Wedding Planners, Inc. is NOT for hire for at least 6 months. Wedding planning is no joke.

 

 

 

How Could 24 Years Just Up And Walk Away?

She was in the backyard, say it was a little past nine

When her prince pulled up........a big pickup truck

Her folks should of seen it comin'. It was only just a matter of time
Plenty old enough............and you can't stop love.

Now her daddy's on his Harley just scratchin' and a rackin' his brains

How could 24 years just up and walk away?

Our little pony-tail girl growed up to be a woman

Now she's gone in the blink of an eye

She left her childhood behind and is ready to walk down the aisle

FELIZ CUMPLEANOS, LLAMA!

I have seen you grow as a woman over these past couple of years,

and I am beyond proud that I will get to call you my sister someday soon.

Your personality lights up a room,

and come September 15th - you will finally have your moment in the spotlight!

It may have been a long journey,

but in year 24 you have truly found your happiness.

It may be hard to imagine,

but I wish you a 25th year of life as fabulous as the 24th.

The Llama Finds Love

The Llama's toes are dull no more!

That's right! The Llama found a man, fell in love, and is on her way to wedded bliss!

Beau popped the question and The Llama said YES!

Hard to believe that just one year ago, I was posting personal ads for The Llama on this very blog. And now she has convinced him (payed off, threatened his life, etc.) that she is not only a beautiful, amusing, talented, lovable, gal but THE ONE to whom he would like to devote the rest of his life! WOW! She's good!

This is the story I got from Llama in Love today:

*(keep in mind I may have added by own details for comic effect)

The Llama had purchased tickets to witness the best professional football team play at the one and only Lambeau Field

(otherwise known as "The Best Place On Earth").

What I imagine the dialogue was like prior to departure:

Beau: Let's Go, Llama! We're gonna be late!

The Llama: "Hold on honey! Does this camo match green and gold?!"

Beau: "What the hell are you talking about, darling?! Camo goes with EVERYTHING! America!"

After arrival at the game, the twosome made all the tourist stops at

The Best Place On Earth.

One of those stops included the infamous Vince Lombardi statue.

Beau started to sweat profusely as they walked towards the statue, requesting The Llama take her place for her picture. P.S. It is pretty sickening how photogenic this girl is. Really. It is. As The Llama approached 'ol Vince, Beau politely asked the couple next to him to photograph one of the most memorable moments of his life (2nd to shooting his first buck, I'm sure).

What I'm assuming was dialogue with the mystery couple:

Beau: "Will you please take a picture of me and my girlfriend?"

Couple: "Of course! We would love to!"

Beau: "Make sure you take lots of pictures. I'm going to propose to her."

Couple: "Really? But she's wearing camo with green and gold!"

Beau: "I know! Isn't she beautiful! America!"

Beau held back the tears in his eyes, approached the woman of his dreams, got down on one knee, and you know the rest! I asked The Llama "What did he say?!" She responded with, "I don't know!" Now that is love! Totally lost in the moment, staring into each others eyes, overjoyed with happiness, love.

They cried.

 They kissed.

 They hugged.

 AND they celebrated a Green Bay Victory!!! GO PACK GO!

CONGRATULATIONS BEAU AND LLAMA!

Officer Bob and I could not be happier for the both of you.

 You make a beautiful couple,

 and I know for sure that you two were meant for each other.

We wish you all the happiness in the world as a couple in your new home.

Moral of the Story?! - Daisy Duke CAN NOT keep secrets.