Word of the Day #burritobeat2015 Day 61

Today's post brought to you by the word.......

Setting: Grand Puba and Daisy Duke's Kitchen

Decor: Early American Garage Sale

Discussion: Ordering Dinner Meals

Open Scene.

Mimi: "They have Pork Ragout" 

(pronounced phonetically as in Rag.Out.)

muffled laughter

Grand Puba: "It must only be offered one week out of every month."

roaring laughter

End Scene.

Who knew my father-in-law was a a stand up comedian? He should take that show on the road!

P.S. It's pronounced "ragu"

#burritobeat2015 Day 51

Quiz:

How many grandparents does it take to strap a baby in a high chair?

Answer:

2 (on a good day)

Daisy Duke and Grand Puba have mastered the art of team parenting raising 5 of their own and continue to showcase those skills for their grandchildren. 

#burritobeat2015 Day 5

Impromptu dinner date with Grand Puba and Daisy Duke. Avocados.....yum! Mom forgot to take a picture so she requested a selfie from Mimi and Grandpa. Bobbie Burrito was blessed with pretty techno savvy grandparents. Brett Favre even made a cameo. What a good lookin' couple!  

Hobby Turned Business(ish)

The excitement from the Saturday Night Fever wedding has finally subsided, and I quickly found that my passion for event planning could not go ignored. This could also be attributed to two things:

1. A consistent push from my mother-in-law to turn this hobby into a kinda sorta business venture.
2. Growing up in a house with Mama Dirt - the true professional DIY crafter

These two beautiful women in my life can be credited with giving me the courage to share my creative talents with the world.

HOW IT ALL STARTED...........
After a full tiring day of wedding planning for Daisy Duke's youngest, the fumes of hot glue and the empty bottles of wine lead to a discussion of making event planning more of a full-time biz. Daisy realized she could officially count the weddings of her children on MORE than one hand and Big Boca Bob confirmed that she too had plenty of experience in her several roles over the years including but not limited to invitation designer, interior decorator, pianist and lead vocalist in the wedding band, bridesmaid(s), caterer, baker, etc. At the time, we may not have appeared to be the most professional of event planners and the original name for the business was created - Hot Mess Wedding Planners, Inc. Since that evening, Daisy and Bob have evolved into much more than what the original name conveys. Together they hope to share their enthusiasm for custom event planning with you and help make your event both successful and truly memorable.

Fever Pitch Events has been born - we even have business cards. This is for realz.

Sergeant Bob and Grand Puba are not exactly thrilled about their wives going into business together as both men have already been recruited as volunteer employees. Little did they know that by saying "I Do", they signed a verbal contract to serve their wives upon request for all future business ventures. I guess you gentleman should have read the fine print.

It has been established that both Daisy Duke and I still need a little guidance in the whole money making part of owning a kinda sorta business, but we are still in the learning process.

PLEASE check out our website (blog) here and share with all your friends and family! We are already having so much fun with the creative themes our clients are bringing to us. Seriously - check out these adorable Alice In Wonderland Theme Invites we just completed for a first birthday party. It doesn't get any cuter.

 

 

The creative juices are flowing and there are no limits to the partnership of Daisy Duke and Big Boca Bob (and several other recruits).

Weddings, parties, and more - oh my!

Let the event planning fun begin! :)

It's Happening.

Ready or not..........

It's Happening.

Saturday Night Fever rocks the hizzouse THIS weekend.

P.S. I'm ready. Seriously ready.

Today Grand Puba and Daisy Duke celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary. Daisy Duke said it best - "Why even think about a second honeymoon......when there's no evidence that we have even finished our first." I sure do hope that thirty years from this Saturday, Officer Bob and I will be able to express the same sentiment. Thank you Grand Puba and Daisy Duke for raising your son in such a loving household. It is because of you that he will have the courage to stand next to me this weekend and start the long winding, twisting, turning, full of potholes road down our own journey of marriage.

 
I knew the day I met him
he had to be The One.

The one that I'd been waiting for
was the one who is your son.

As his mom you gave him guidance,
that taught him how to find
the very best within himself,
and now that blessing's mine.

As his dad you showed him how to treat
the woman of his dreams
with trust, respect, and patience
the love you taught him gleams.

In days gone by you held him
and now you let him go,
If tears fall on our wedding day
I'll understand, you know.

I want so much to thank you
for all that you have done,
for The One that
I've been waiting for
is the one who is your son.

Grand Puba and Daisy Duke -

From the bottom of my heart - THANK YOU.
I will never be able to express the happiness you have given me.
My heart is full because of your creation. God's blessing to you became my own.

---

Photos/Stories As Promised

Better Late Than Never!

Three Things

1. Getting married is like a 6 month constant party of fun.
2. My Matron and Maid of Honors are the best! :)
3. Mama Dirt rocks too.

Decorations for the bachelorette party were themed, raunchy, and abundant. No worries....I have refrained from posting MOST inappropriate pictures - and believe me when I say there were many.

 

Mama Dirt and Dancing Queen were in charge of fashion design for the evening, and I pulled off one heckuva rockstar bachelorette look thanks to their attention to detail and pristine sewing abilities.

 

Prior to dinner, I of course had to snack on a few appetizers. CareBear's words of wisdom - "they don't really taste like that."  



 

Unfortunately, I have absolutely no pictures from dinner although time spent at the restaurant far exceeded all other events of the night. Here's some highlights:

 

•  Cocktails were plentiful - delicious, flavored, multi-colored cocktails.
• Mama Dirt ordered the following item from the menu: “The Bastacolli” Sausage, meatballs, pepper and mushrooms in a rich marinara over penne pasta and baked with mozzarella and parmesan cheese. You eat it all and receive a Free Basta’s Tee Shirt!
•  Mama Dirt received an extra large take-home bucket of mostacolli and no tee shirt.
• Several talkative females surrounding a dinner table resulted in NO pause in conversation for a straight 2.5 hours.
• The waiter only spilled one bowl of pasta on the floor - pretty good when you consider the distraction of all the fine ladies surrounding him.

Following dinner, the ladies retreated to the party suite for a few phallic treats including but not limited to cake, cupcakes, popsicles, suckers, etc. Even Mama Gin got in on the action. (By the way....Mama Dirt must have had some rockin' party days because she can cook up some delightfully delicious jello shots with a special kick.)

 



 

Gifts followed dessert, and due to my family/friends incredibly inappropriate gift giving, I have no pictures for your viewing pleasure. What happened to the good 'ol days of lingerie gift giving? My family/friends instead chose to gift and RE-gift an entire collection of adult films featuring quite the diverse population of actors/actresses. The Llama should really spend more of her time molding the young minds of the girls she nannies and less time wasting money in the porn crane game at the local watering hole. 

Games Followed Gifts:

First on the list? Banana Ring Toss.

Despite this display of impeccable technique and form, I did not earn the title of Banana Ring Toss champion.

 

 Unfortunately for Liz, the hands-on-hip technique also did not result in victory.

 

 

I'm sure by now you have all noted the naked man in the background of the previous posted photos. Per tradition, the night included a rousing game of Pin the Junk on the Hunk.

 

A lack of blindfold resulted in Bob's Bachelorette Boa as a form of vision blocking. The Llama made a good move.

 

Mrs. E struggled slightly.

 

And Goldie walked away with the title. I think it was due to her "good luck" guide from behind.

 

Following games, the girls headed out for a little casino action. Monetary breakdown is as follows: Everyone lost money EXCEPT for the lucky mother of twins. She was lucky enough to survive delivery of two beautiful boys and her luck continued at the slots.

 

Following a depressing loss of finances, the girls headed back to a little relaxation and skin rejuvenation. It takes work to look this good.

 

A HUGE thanks to all those in attendance!

 

Only 13 more days until the real party starts!



It's a Small Town

At approximately 6:20am on a brisk Sunday morning, I receive the following text message from Officer Bob who has just left the house for a day on the job:

"Can you make sure the doors are locked? There is a weirdo guy dressed in all black standing in the alley by the railroad tracks just staring at nothing."

My response:

"Creepy"

(Give me a break. It was my weekend. I wanted to sleep. As a general rule, I have trained my brain to not function at full strength until after the sun has come up.)

A reply from Officer Bob:

"Yeah. I even slowed down to check it out and the creep just stood there."

(This is where Officer Bob and I differ. It may be my lack of law enforcement training, but I would NOT slow down to check out creepy guy. I would drive faster to escape potential danger of the situation including but not limited to robbery, murder, etc.)

End Scene.

Later that afternoon, I am enjoying a nice conversation with my future mother-in-law, Daisy Duke. In discussing the day, Daisy Duke informs me that she was out walking the dog early that morning. I inquired as to if she had ventured near the railroad tracks during said walk. Daisy Duke continues to inform me that she indeed was walking the dog near the railroad tracks at exactly 6:20am. I ask if Daisy Duke also witnessed the potential murderer loitering around the tracks at said time.

Her response? (said with slight hesitation)

"I think it was me."

My response?

Laughter. Lots and lots and lots of laughter.

Daisy Duke continues her story by describing the attire she chooses to wear when roaming the streets of our small town bright and early every morning. It may or may not include tall black boots, black coat, scarf , gloves, and black hood worn in the upright position and tied tight.

In Officer Bob's defense, this attire would provoke some type of "creepy" vibe in the darkness of an early winter morning.

So......here is my warning to citizens of this same little village.

The "creepy guy" givin' you that "I need to notify the police of suspicious activity" vibe who is chillin' by the tracks every morning is no more than a loving mother and wife simply engaging in a little exercise.

She'll be the same lady walkin' in her pajamas pushing a cat stroller once spring hits.

Weirdo?

Maybe.

Thief/Killer?

Not so much.


 

My Name Is Big Boca Bob

And it has been two weeks since my last entry.


The Llama's wedding has jumped straight to the top of my "things to do" list. There are crafts to be completed, ribbons to be tied, candy dishes to be filled, musical duets to be rehearsed and one bride-to-be to keep stress free. The last item might become the most difficult to accomplish in the coming weeks.
Twenty-seven days and counting until The Llama becomes a Mrs., and if her bachelorette festivities last night serve as a preview for the wedding events, I can assure you it will be one heck of a camo sportin', ol glory drankin', cowboy boot stompin' party. Thanks CareBear for providing a fabulous girls night out and thanks Daisy Duke for providing most of the entertainment for the evening. :)

As my hobbies as a party planner, dance recital coordinator, and wedding diva become a full-time job, Officer Bob and the boys have felt a little neglected - and they aren't afraid to show that they are utterly unimpressed with my lack of free time.

Luckily, Officer Bob has stepped up to the plate to share a little extra quality father-son bonding time with the boys.

I honestly don't know what I would do without him..................





Oh wait......nevermind..........
I would sleep in my own bed!


Please excuse my part-time demotion of blogging on my priority list. I promise to move it up the list immediately right in between folding laundry and vaccuming the carpet I'm sure is hiding under days of dog hair.

Don't give up on me yet, blog readers! The fun is just starting!

Miss America

There she is, Miss America

There she is, your ideal

With so many beauties she took the town by storm

With her all-American face and form

And there she is

Walking on air, she is

Fairest of the fair, she is

There she is - Miss America

FELIZ CUMPLEANOS, DAISY DUKE!

I could not be more jealous of your legs in that outfit.

You truly are the ideal.

The ideal mother to your children.

The ideal grandmother to your grandchildren.

The ideal wife to your husband.

(Though, at times, he won't admit it)

And the ideal, All-American woman!

It has been a pleasure knowing you over the last 6+ years.

You have become a good friend, and I only hope that friendship continues.

Enjoy your birthday!

Remember.....after so many, you get to start counting backwards!

The Big 5-0!

How to tell your aging.......

• Your back goes out more than you do.
• You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
• Your friend is dating someone half their age, and isn't breaking any laws.
• You sing along with the elevator music.
• You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
• You laugh, pee, sneeze, and fart all at the same time.
• Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
• It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
• Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
• "Getting lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
• The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
• You turn off the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.
• Your kids call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
• Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
• Your husband says, "Let's go upstairs and make love" and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"
• You don't care where Grand Puba goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
• An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.

Feliz Cumpleanos, Daisy Duke!

You did a hell of a job with the first 50 years!
Now here's to another half a century of happiness!

(Let's just hope that hammock holds up!)

Casa de Bob

The house hunt is over.
The dotted line is signed.
Officer Bob has reluctantly agreed to a life of poverty.
It's official.

Big Boca Bob and Officer Bob are HOMEOWNERS!

As mentioned previously, CareBear saved the day with her GIANT canister of Home Defense. This picture is not photoshopped. These alien spiders took over when the sun went down, and I was afraid to enter/leave the house with these eight-legged, steroid-taking, poor excuse for a living creatures lurking outside both the front and back doors. Luckily, CareBear has even a greater hatred for the species and I followed her around the house as she drowned them in chemicals shouting, "DIE SPIDER DIE!" I'm sure the neighbors now believe there is a mentally unstable woman moving into the neighborhood. The sound of doors being locked at the surrounding houses made me realize I may have not made the best first impression.
Turns out painting must be quite the workout. Five minutes into it, Officer Bob looked down to see Gilbert on the floor in this position. What I didn't tell him was I was doing the same thing in the empty spare bedroom. We were both tuckered out.
Even Gilbert got in on the painting action. He was responsible for retrieving the rollers for us. Anything to keep him busy!
I made Officer Bob snap this photo just to prove that I was working too.
Once again.....the purple walls are not staying. As much as I enjoy most things associated with the color (grapes, violets, jam, lavender, etc.), I still despise that singing dinosaur that's been haunting my dreams since childhood. I refuse to have the color of Barney splattered on any wall in this house. Officer Bob is a paining professional. I believe he is regretting ever telling me that he used to be employed by a painting business. Since divulging this information, several decisions have been made regarding how much painting will be done in the house. The list consists of EVERY ceiling, EVERY wall, EVERY piece of trim, EVERYthing. Poor Officer Bob. Luckily, I have become his apprentice and am quite the fast learner.
The following task was completed during the cries and whines of The Llama shouting, "I can't believe I'm cleaning somebody else's s$#t!
Daisy Duke hard at work cleaning the kitchen cabinets. Her cleaning skills are second to none. Mr. Clean has some competition with this one. Come to think of it......ever thought of shaving that head, Daisy Duke?
KitchenDining Room
Family RoomIt is going to be a LONG road, but we are ready for the challenge. Please pray for us as we have decided to paint every ceiling, every wall, and every piece of trim. And by we.....I pretty much mean I decided and Officer Bob agreed. You will find that is how most decisions are made between us. A BIG thank you to Daisy Duke, The Llama, CareBear, and Titty Baby for their help during CASA MAKEOVER DAY 1. Daisy Duke led the troops with (as The Llama would say) her cleaning nazi skills. Also thanks to to The Llama for performing duties underneath the ranks of Daisy Duke and serving as a great babysitter for Gilbert. And a special thanks to CareBear for saving the day with Home Defense spray at about 11:00pm last night when the spiders took over the front yard. CASA MAKEOVER DAY 1 was a success.

There are many stories to tell, but little time. For now, you will just have to be content with the less-than-mediocre photography until God grants me another 12 hours in the day.

Living Room

The turqoise walls are NOT staying. If you plan on coming over before this room is finished, remember to bring your solar eclipse goggles to protect your eyes when looking at these walls.