#burritobeat2015 Day 34

Feliz Cumpleanos Tia CareBear!

To a woman who defines selflessness - an amazing woman with the power,  mind, and strength to tackle every obstacle in this crazy beautiful life. CareBear - it is my prayer that you go to sleep every night with the realization that you are every bit worth the blessings God has given you. The blessing of a house filled with loads of laundry, weeknights consumed with dinner making and doctor's visits, sleepless nights preparing for the stress of the day ahead, and the blessing of endless love from two tiny beings who call you Mommy.

You never cease to amaze me by simply being you.

We love you CareBear. You deserve the happiest of birthdays and so much more.

#burritobeat2015 Day 28

Feliz Cumpleanos Padrino Huracan!

In September of 2014, Bobbie Burrito was baptized into the arms and love of our Savior Jesus Christ and granted the gift of a godfather (padrino) to watch over her spiritual growth and offer advice/support when called upon. We picked someone who knows his spirits alright - vodka, gin, rum, and most importantly tequila. Ole! Advice and support you say? Life lessons Huracan may offer include how to impersonate a professional athlete to get free drinks and how to build the world's longest list of work experience on a resume.

Oh - and how to live life to the fullest, reach for the stars without looking back, and only share your heart with the people who truly deserve it. 

We hope your day was everything you wanted and more, Tio Huracan. Bobbie Burrito is lucky to have you watching over her.

Love, The Bob's

#burritobeat2015 Day 27

Happy Birthday Sergeant Bob!

A daddy is someone you look up to no matter how tall you grow. I may be a little biased but Bobbie Burrito has been blessed with a one of a kind role model. In 30 years he has accomplished more than most people do in a lifetime.  If you ask him his greatest of those accomplishments,  he will proudly answer the day he became a father. Cue the awwwwww's. This man lives for his family and on this day - the 30th anniversary of his birth - I want to shout from the rooftops how lucky I consider myself to share a home and a heart with him. Our little family's journey is just beginning and leading the way is a devoted, loving, sunshiney ball of fun. It took 30 years for Sergeant Bob to look this good. I'm afraid to see what happens in the next 30. 

We love you Sergeant Bob - more than you will ever know! Feliz Cumpleanos! 

#burritobeat2015 Days 17 & 18

 Day 17: SURPRISE Sergeant Bob! Bobbie Burrito and I kept a super big secret for the past few months and planned a surprise 30th birthday fiesta for the man of the house. As hard as it may have been to follow the chain of lies told to my loving husband over the past few weeks, I can proudly say he was shocked at the sight of approximately 40 of his family and friends sporting Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle masks blowing noise makers and air horns yelling Happy Birthday on Saturday afternoon.  An inappropriate word or two might have slipped his lips when he opened the door to the TMNT crew. It was truly a turtley awesome time. So awesome in fact that Big Boca Bob only took time to snap a few photos (cake and cookies shown above) most of which were not taken on her camera. Photos will be posted at a later date once we collect them all. A HUGE thanks to all those involved! Sergeant Bob felt the love. COWABUNGA!

BTW You may be asking yourself, "Why was there no post yesterday?"

The festivities were just too much to handle. Bobbie Burrito and Mom were out by 8:00pm - and I'm not even 30 yet! Yikes! 

Day 18: Cheering for the Cheese! We spent the afternoon listening to dad and Grand Puba cursing at the TV through an utterly disappointing NFC championship game.  The Packers may have let us down today but we will ALWAYS remain faithful to our men in Green and Gold. 

Doctor Dumpster Boy

This past Saturday this guy celebrated his 23rd birthday.

 

This coming Saturday this guy will be moving many miles away from the place he has called home for the last 23 years.

In just a couple weeks, this guy will be inducted into med school with a fancy pants White Coat Ceremony.

But let me remind you that 20 years ago, this guy was my little shadow, my partner in crime, my bestest little brotha. I truly hope that never changes.
This is the guy I remember.

 

My faithful readers have witness the chronicles of El Aguila's journey from boy to man over the last few years, but one would say that his true journey has just begun.

From dumpster boy to doctor. Miracles do happen.

 "Thumbs Up" for a successful transition into your newest adventure, buddy.

FELIZ CUMPLEANOS, EL AGUILA!

P.S. Please don't forget about us little people.

Crazy Little Thing Called Life

Things you missed in my absence:

Officer Bob celebrated his 28th birthday.


He's pretty cute. I'm considering marrying him next month. He acts more like he's 15 than in his late 20's. He enjoys making fun of his soon-to-be wife, playing PS3 until the wee hours of the morning, and making funny faces.

 Huracan Ramirez celebrated his 29th birthday.


He's kinda OK in the looks department. I'm considering calling him next month. He acts more like he's 21 than in his late 20's. He enjoys making fun of his favorite sister, playing guitar until the wee hours of the morning, and making even funnier faces.

CareBear celebrated her 29th birthday.


She's beautiful both inside and out. I'm considering officially making her my sister next month. She acts her age. She enjoys making a fool of herself in costume at bridal showers, chasing after her adorable daughter, and proving her husband wrong.

• I sprained my back tying tags on wedding favors. Is that normal?
• The birthday boys and a few tag-a-longs (Big Boca Bob included) celebrated their aging process with a ski trip in Wisconsin. Everyone survived. There were no broken bones. Broken egos? That's another story.
• Mary Poppins, Juno, and Elle Woods threw me a Star-Studded Bridal Shower with guests including Tom Cruise, Liz Taylor, The Cat in the Hat, Forrest Gump, Indiana Jones, Super Girl, Two members of the Clampett family, Wilma and Pebbles Flintstone, Olivia Newton John, Jovie the Elf, Katniss Everdeen, and Jennifer Beals just to name a few. Zach Galifianakis even made a guest appearance dressed in his famous role as Alan (baby Carlos included). Several pictures were taken and will be posted soon. It was a BLAST!
• I filed my taxes. It's ok to be jealous.
• After looking at the February and March calendar, I realized the schedule of The Bob's could not be any more ridiculous/confusing.
• Just when I thought life couldn't get any busier - it did - and I like it.

.

 

 

A Belated Birthday for Beans

Keep in mind the party was only 6 days belated, but my poor excuse for blogging is what caused the 12 day delay. :)

Due to geographical location, the Casa de Bob family was unable to party with Beans on the 1 year anniversary of her birth. However, the Belated Beans Birthday was well worth the wait, and my little burrito of a niece was quite the firecracker. This would be no surprise if you have met either one of the poor girl's grandmothers. :)

In order to make the mess slightly more manageable, it was decided that Beans would receive ONE chocolate cupcake for surviving ONE year of direct care by her father. This child could just not contain her excitement at the site of the deliciousness in front of her.

However, the excitement quickly turned to fear/confusion when a room full of Mexicans started singing to the scared child. She better get used to it as I'm sure our family Mariachi band has already booked gigs for future birthday celebrations. 

The confusion soon subsided and attention was again focused on the task at hand. Eat. Chocolate. I never knew so many emotions could be involved in eating a cupcake, but Beans has proven that the art of Cupcake Consumption is quite an emotional journey.

And of course, you could not turn away from the magic. Beans made sure to reiterate that she was indeed the center of attention.

 

Cupcakes were followed with clean-up and the Belated Beans Birthday was concluded by the annual tradition of the presents. Her favorite was obviously her Uncle Officer Bob and Aunt Big Boca Bob's gift - if you define favorite as the gift we forced her to put on and parade around the house. Raise your hand if you are going to be the cutest flower girl in the history of flower girls?! (tied with Pebbles of course)

 

FELIZ CUMPLEANOS, BEANS!

The past year flew by, and you are no longer Daddy's little baby. You are a diva full of attitude who has mastered the art of the "don't mess with this chicana" glare. This makes me proud - but could you do me a favor? Hold off on growing up TOO fast? I want to make these moments last.

 

P.S. Beans was also kind enough to share her fiesta with her second favorite Mexican aunt. (Sorry Dancing Queen but the truth hurts.) TWENTY cupcakes for the TWENTY year old.

 

 

And all de-flamed in one breath. She. Is. Good.

 

I must admit that I'm really loving all the family time I have been getting lately. I feel so spoiled getting to watch my little nieces grow, and it makes my heart happy knowing my time in doing so has just started. This is Officer Bob and I's 8th Christmas together, and the FIRST time we will get to spend it with BOTH sides of the family TOGETHER.  I am extremely grateful for the oppotunity to be surrounded by loved ones during this holiday season. It's a dysfunctional group to say the least, but it's our family.

 

 



Twenty Years Have Passed

 

And I'm still browner than you.

 

Some things will never change.

 

************************************************

 

And that includes my love for my little twin.

 

Feliz Cumpleanos, Dancing Queen!!!

 

Congratulations on officially surviving your teenage years.

(and proving those teen pregnancy statistics wrong)

 

Now take on your 20 somethings like a true warrior!

 

 

M.A.M.A. D.I.R.T.

Though most definitions on Urban Dictionary are rude and crude, I would say the authors deserve a standing ovation for co-writing this birthday blog as they were S.P.O.T. O.N.

M.amacita
def: "the Spanish for "little mother". Rather like the English word "momma", mamacita can mean a mother of both the standard and the red hot kind."
ex: What a hottie! Que Mamacita!

A.buelita
def: "literally - Little Grandmother."
ex: My abuelita buys me awesome presents.

M.ature
def: "The ability to deal with a movie or painting in which nudity is shown (NOT porn) without laughing, feeling uncomfortable or making a dirty comment."
ex: Mama Dirt is NOT mature.

A.geless Wonder
def: "Someone who never reveals their age and never seems to celebrate a birthday. If somehow you happen upon this information and share it with others they’ll take it very offensively."
ex: Mama Dirt IS an ageless wonder.

D.ivine
def: "Angelic. Godlike. Heavenly. Divine is a caring girl with a big heart, but cross her path and you will not be forgiven easily.
ex: Ain't my mama divine?

I.ntense
def: "Like camping - or the circus! - also refers to something with a high level of intenseness."
ex: Being a mother to four annoying bratty adult children is intense.
R.adical
def: "A word used by people over the age of 30 in an attempt to sound cool, usually resulting in the opposite. Adj.- a description of an action or thing which is especially impressive."
ex: Mama Dirt is totally radical.

T.alented
def: "A woman with nice tits."
ex: My mom is more talented than your mom AND I inherited her genes.

FELIZ CUMPLEANOS, MAMA DIRT!

 

As Mamacita and Abuelita -

you are a talented, radical, intense, divine ageless wonder!

Thank you for continuing to care for your four bratty adult children.

My Brother Is Cooler Than Your Brother

El Aguila and I have always been - BY FAR - the most competitive siblings. He was naturally gifted with more intelligence and better athleticism than I, but I have always made an A+ effort in knocking him off of Grandma and Grandpa's little pedestal. This may seem odd as El Aguila is actually 4 years younger than I, but his continued success will always challenge me to be better. Maybe there is something kinda sorta ok about having a little twerp for a brother. Luckily, over the past couple of years, El Aguila made some less-than-mediocre life decisions, and my position in Grandma and Grandpa's spotlight was shining yet again.

HOWEVER -

Listen carefully, El Aquila,

because today I finally throw the white flag. I hang my head in shame knowing that you are truly greater than I. Let's be honest here - I never crossed the finish line 3rd in the state of Illinois after running several miles, I never received a scholarship for entrance into the actual real life United States Naval Academy because I have lightning speed running legs and Einstein-like math skills AND THEN turned down said scholarship because I am just too cool to wear that weird looking boat hat. I have never sent 14,000 text messages in ONE month because I simply have too many people that want to be my friends.

AND I HAVE NEVER STUDIED FOR 6 MONTHS FOR THE HARDEST TEST EVA!!!!

NOR HAVE I EVER CHOSEN TO SIT FOR SEVERAL HOURS TO TAKE "HARDEST TEST EVA" ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

You win - El Aguila - you win!

Every time I have called over the past few weeks, you answered with "What you want, fool? I'm studying."

translation - BORING

Every time I invited you to one of my super cool house parties, you answered with "I can't. I'm studying."

translation - SUPER BORING

And this one time you even turned down going to LAMBEAU FIELD (best place on Earth) because you were studying!!

translation - SUPER MEGA CRAZY BORING

I can't even begin to understand how incredibly dull the last few months of your life have been (because I'm obviously the complete opposite of incredibly dull). I don't even know what the words physics, organic chemistry, and bioecology mean. In fact....I may have even made up that last one. You have been the least cool person I know, and I don't know why, but I'm super proud of you for doing it!

You are smarter.

You are more athletic.

You are you.

But I, my brother, am prettier.
I can still count on my looks to keep up with your awesomeness.

Congratulations on accomplishing something that very few people will ever attempt. KICK THAT MCAT'S GLUTEUS MAXIMUS. Remember that the test score you will receive in approximately one month does not matter. For you - mi hermano - have already proven your focus, determination, and drive for success.

And all of this done by your 22nd birthday.

FELIZ CUMPLEANOS EL AGUILA!

You are the 2nd smartest guy I know.

(2nd to Osama Bin Father, of course)

You make me uber proud every day of your existence.

NOW GO CELEBRATE!

Your super lame reputation needs some serious help after the past few months.

Call me if you need to up your cool factor by hanging out with someone totally better looking than you.

How Could 24 Years Just Up And Walk Away?

She was in the backyard, say it was a little past nine

When her prince pulled up........a big pickup truck

Her folks should of seen it comin'. It was only just a matter of time
Plenty old enough............and you can't stop love.

Now her daddy's on his Harley just scratchin' and a rackin' his brains

How could 24 years just up and walk away?

Our little pony-tail girl growed up to be a woman

Now she's gone in the blink of an eye

She left her childhood behind and is ready to walk down the aisle

FELIZ CUMPLEANOS, LLAMA!

I have seen you grow as a woman over these past couple of years,

and I am beyond proud that I will get to call you my sister someday soon.

Your personality lights up a room,

and come September 15th - you will finally have your moment in the spotlight!

It may have been a long journey,

but in year 24 you have truly found your happiness.

It may be hard to imagine,

but I wish you a 25th year of life as fabulous as the 24th.

Blame Small Town Internet

For The Delay.............

In my daughter's eyes,

I am a hero,

I am strong and wise,

And I know no fear,

But the truth is plain to see,

She was sent to rescue me,

I see who I want to be,

In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes,

Everyone is equal,

Darkness turns to light,

And the world is at peace,

This miracle God gave to me,

Gives me strength when I am weak,

I find reason to believe,

In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand around my finger,

How it puts a smile in my heart,

Everything becomes a little clearer,

I realize what life is all about,

It's hanging on when your heart is had enough,

It's giving more when you feel like giving up,

I've seen the light,

It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes,

I can see the future,

A reflection of who I am and what will be,

And though she'll grow and someday leave,

Maybe raise a family,

When I'm gone I hope you see,

How happy she made me,

For I'll be there,

In my daughter's eyes

This year has brought you many blessings, CareBear!

I hope those blessings continue to grow.

You have evolved into a great mother,

and a great role model.

I can't wait for the day that I can offically

call you my sister.

FELIZ CUMPLEANOS, CAREBEAR!!!