Hola. Me Llamo Dora.

I'm still adjusting to the fact that I now have friends with children old enough to talk, interact, and understand the basics of conversation. By "adjusting" I mean I get totally weirded out every time I am asked to actually hold a conversation with one of these miniature people. In my mind, they should still be spending their days eating, crying, pooping, and sleeping. OK....who am I kidding? That's how I spend my own days with the addition of working between the eating and crying. I have watched these little babies mature into real-life human beings each with a unique little personality that just astounds me. But the theme of this story is not about my growing sense of uneasiness every time I see these kids engaging in adult conversation. It is rather about the creative parenting techniques of my dear friends. I can only hope when I have children (in the very distant future) that I am able to respond quickly with ingenious methods of discipline and persuasion.

The following is a conversation held with my friend, Kelly, after she found difficulty persuading her daughter into putting on her big-girl panties and using the big-girl potty. I was sitting at my desk at work when the phone rang......

Me: Hey Kelly!

Kelly: Hi Dora!

Me: What?

Kelly: HIII DORA!

Me: What the hell are you talking about?

Kelly:(with frustration and emphasis) YOU'RE DORA, RIGHT?!

Me: Sure....whatever. (If you haven't guessed it by now, I'm not too quick on subtle hints. You've really got to spell things out for me.)

Kelly: Audrina will not put on her big-girl panties and use the big-girl potty, and I told her Dora does. I told Audrina I knew Dora, and I would call her so Dora could tell Audrina herself.

Me: Hi Audrina! Dora ALWAYS wears her big-girl panties and uses the big-girl potty so you better do what your Mom says.

Kelly: Dora, don't you speak SPANISH?!

Me: Oh yeah...crap. Audrina, you necesita to put on your nina grande panties and use the nina grande potty. (enter rolling laughter from Kelly and Audrina's grandma in the background)

Kelly: Thanks Dora! Audrina, say bye to Dora.

Audrina: Bye-bye Dowa.

I am now certain of two things:
1. My "rough" cameo appearance as a Nickelodeon cartoon character will NEVER cast me a role as a Dora impersonator.
2. I will most likely stick with the old "Put your big-girl panties on or you're going to your room without TV" tactic because this conversation was way too much work.

Kudos to you, Kelly, for your incredibly imaginative and effective parenting skills.

Note: Thanks to Kelly for supplying me with my Halloween costume idea this year. I will rock a Dora costume better than every other Mexican girl with a backpack. I mean...there is a striking resemblance right?