#burritobeat2015 Day 8

Vamos a la piscina! I wish! Killed two birds with one book for our bedtime story tonight. In these subzero temps, we got to daydream about warmer weather sitting by the side of the pool all while taking one step closer toward our goal of becoming conversational in Spanish before starting school. I highly doubt Bobbie Burrito can distinguish between English and Spanish just yet but for some reason she found story time overwhelmingly hilarious this evening. That little giggle is music to my ears.

#burritobeat2015 Day 7

R.I.P. Henry Hugglemonster

December 25, 2014 - January 7, 2015

I'm saddened to share the news that today we lost  Henry Hugglemonster - a dear friend and companion to our little Bobbie Burrito. The murder is still under investigation but two suspects have been detained. It has been reported that 6 year old Gilbert Brown and his younger brother 4 year old Reggie White were taken into custody as dolly witness testimony puts them at the scene of the crime. Local law enforcement also reports that Sergeant Bob and Big Boca Bob are being questioned as accomplices to the murder for improper placement of Bobbie Burrito's toys. 

P.S. We really need to invest in a toy box. 

#burritobeat2015 Day 6

Survived the first winter storm of the season! Old Man Winter came for a visit bringing along his pal Jack Frost  and this family of partial Mexicans is hoping the visit does not require the room key to an extended stay suite. Bobbie Burrito is destined for a lifetime of winter weather advisories if she plans to remain a Midwest gal. Unfortunately, Big Boca Bob doesn't get snow days even with a 60 minute commute on the sunshiniest of days. Why didn't I become a teacher? Sergeant Bob loaned Mom the 4 wheel drive for the day and we blasted through the snowy roads like a pro. Predicted windchill for tomorrow....-23. Pass the parka, por favor!

#burritobeat2015 Day 5

Impromptu dinner date with Grand Puba and Daisy Duke. Avocados.....yum! Mom forgot to take a picture so she requested a selfie from Mimi and Grandpa. Bobbie Burrito was blessed with pretty techno savvy grandparents. Brett Favre even made a cameo. What a good lookin' couple!  

#burritobeat2015 Day 4

We heart Sundays at Casa de Bob - especially when the entire snowy day is consumed with Mommy/Daughter bonding. These are the moments I want to bottle up and keep forever. It's bittersweet watching Bobbie Burrito sit by herself and play with her toys. It's so fun watching her investigate the world around her and develop her own unique personality, but every new skill and every new development in her tiny world is another day closer to growing up. Days like this make me wish the Peter Pan fairy tale could be true if just for a couple years. 

#burritobeat2015 Day 3

 Last minute Christmas shopping with Tio Aguila. Yes - all the cool kids celebrate Christmas in January. He thinks he is smarter than Big Boca Bob as he spends his days literally studying his life away at med school. Our little secret? - he really is smarter than me. However, I am obviously better looking. Is he serious with that beard?

Lunch date with the girls. It is my hope that Bobbie Burrito builds a bond with a group of amazingly strong and compassionate women just as I have been blessed to do so. Women who are there to share kind words, advice, lots of laughs, and lots and lots and lots of wine.

#burritobeat2015 Day 2

Spent the evening putting away decorations from our very first Christmas as a family of three. Children make the holiday season truly magical. This year at the ripe old age of 6 months Bobbie Burrito spent Christmas morning questioning the sanity of her parents who were throwing bows and boxes in her face oohing  and awwing at every adorable expression she made. We can't wait to watch our little elf grow each holiday season as we create our own family traditions. 

#burritobeat2015 Day 1

Responsible parenting at it's finest. Ringing in the new year with Jax Teller and the rest of the SAMCRO gang. Bobbie Burrito - it is a travesty that your generation will never fully understand the amount of awesome compacted into 7 short seasons. Thank you to the genius mind that created Netflix for allowing the SOA legacy to live on. Don't worry - the time in between episodes was spent counting to ten in Spanish and singing SkinnyMarinky Dinky Dink in order to keep the marathon age appropriate.  

#burritobeat2015

Here we sit - on the brink of a new year -

Resolution.

BLAH!

I hate that 10 letter word. 'Resolution' simply means 'one more thing that Big Boca Bob will fail to complete.' In my 28 (and a half) years on this beloved Earth, I have NEVER NOT EVEN ONCE successfully stuck with a New Year's Resolution an entire 365 days. It is very common for me to set myself up for failure by dreaming too big and reaching for things that are just too far away.

That being said, I would like to teach my daughter the following two lessons.

1. Dream Big.
2. Keep Reaching.

My resolution failures over the years lead to the following:

• I graduated high school, college, and graduate college (and could potentially pay off the loans associated with these degrees within the next year). Hell to the yeah. 
• I share a rare and amazing relationship with every single one of my awesomely unique siblings.
• I can think. Freely. An education allowed me to do so. Oh - and if I want to change those thoughts tomorrow, I can do that too.
• God placed the most hard working and genuine man in my life and made him my husband. Every day Sergeant Bob is my husband. Every day. Seriously. I still can't believe it myself sometimes.
• I have a full-time job. Period.
• I work in a career field I actually believe in and might even contribute to the general well being of other real humans. 
• An effort to stay current in an ever-changing technological world gives me access to the fancy interwebs and it's googling machine. The world is literally in my fingertips 24/7.
• Back to the job thing I worked so hard for - every morning when I wake up there is a roof over my head, food in my fridge, and clean running water for my shower.
• God didn't just stop with that perfect husband thing. In 2014, he made me a MOMMY. Not just any mommy - a mommy to a perfectly chunky, smiley, giggly, ball of love. 

Failure would most definitely NOT be the word I would use to describe the thousands of blessings life has given me.

And so - as we end 2014, I vow to NOT use the word resolution. That ugly word has been removed from my vocabulary and replaced with a better sounding idea - CHALLENGE.  I come from a family of 4 competitive kids. I like a good challenge. General Patton once advised a nation to "accept the challenges so you can feel the exhilaration of victory." I choose to rise victorious in 2015.

This might be one of the craziest "challenges" I have given myself but I truly want to gift my daughter with a lifetime of memories. 2015 will be bringing us #burritobeat. 365 consecutive days of ONE photo - ONE memory. The challenge is not to start, but to finish - and the finish line is the day God chooses to take me to His kingdom. EVERY day my little burrito will be gifted ONE photo - ONE memory to be posted right here. Some will be short and sweet while other moments have more to share. Either way - Burrito Bob will have the ability to look back on her blessings in 28 (and a half) years and every year thereafter.

I will need your help. YOU are the contributors to #burritobeat2015. YOU create these memories for Burrito Bob, and it is YOU that will help me shape her into the amazing being she is bound to become. It takes a village to raise a child and YOU are more than welcome to join our happy little village any day.

A big thank YOU in advance for your part in #burritobeat this year and every year after.

2015 - Casa de Bob welcomes you with wide open eyes, arms, and love.

#burritobeat2015

Let the journey begin.

My Latest Obsession

My evenings these days are most often spent staring at this screen...

Squinting in an attempt to watch Bobbie Burrito's chest rise and fall signifying that she is indeed breathing. Please don't judge. I'm sure it's a first time mom thing that I will grow out of eventually. Sergeant Bob hopes that happens sooner than later as the volume of the monitor interrupts his late night viewing of Cops reruns. I swear there is a Cops marathon every other day and if you were to witness Sergeant Bob glued to the TV screen, the episodes apparently get funnier with each viewing.

I became brave enough to tear my eyes away from the night vision of the baby monitor long enough to become hooked on my latest obsession:

Since completing graduate school I have yet to have a job with normal working hours that allows for evening TV to be a part of my daily routine. This maternity leave has proven that I really wasn't missing out. However, I am 100% positive that Leah Remini and I were best friends in a former life. In that life I was also a famous TV star with a rockin' body and 6 figure paycheck. We would go on evening walks and come home to a glass of wine spending hours mocking the joke that is scientology and reminiscing about our latest party at J Los mansion at which I got into a dance off with a fly girl and won with my signature move - the Booty Bouncin' Bob.

I look forward to my Thursday evenings with my BFF as I get an amazing abdominal workout with an hour long belly laugh. If I wasn't already a member of two amazing families,  I would plead and beg my BFF to adopt a 28 year old sister because for realz - I want to spend more than just one day a week with this family.

Tonight the season finale airs, and I will spend my last night with Leah, Angelo, and the rest of the gang. I hope my pal Leah is able to hold back the tears as we say goodbye because I am not sure I will have the strength to do so.

Introducing Bobbie Burrito

So this one time...........

 

I had a baby.

Let's just say I am absolutely LOVING motherhood and Sergeant Bob is a daddy pro. There are plenty of amusing stories to tell regarding the delivery of little Bobbie Burrito but I will spare you all of them. Sergeant Bob seems to be a more entertaining story teller of the moments leading up to our daughter's birth anyway - If you see him and ask, I am sure he will oblige.

Little Bobbie Burrito was born June 26th at 11:04am
weighing in at 7lbs 2oz and measuring 19in.

Sergeant Bob and I have successfully completed almost 6 weeks as parents and our love for this little being grows more and more every day if that is even possible.

Unfortunately, my love for my daughter is equally countered by my hatred for my post-baby bod. Yikes! Let's use a visual reference.

Big Boca Bob 6 weeks Pregnant

Big Boca Bob 38 weeks Pregnant



To say I thoroughly took advantage of those 9 months would be an understatement.

The goal?! - Achieve pre-baby weight by November 1st, 2014.

The past two weeks have been spent taking baby steps towards this goal - enter the use of the jogging stroller. An amazing piece of equipment with which I have a love/hate hate/hate relationship.

Observations Made While Attempting to Jog Post Baby (with a jogging stroller)

1. A 5-month hiatus from your jogging routine results in complete loss of all endurance. Walking up the two step incline from the driveway to the back door causes shortness of breath. I'm sure you can imagine how jogging is going......
2. There is a lack of genuine concern for the next generation. Playing chicken with a stroller is the most ridiculous game initiated by automobile drivers. If there is not a decent sidewalk, I WILL choose to stroll down the side of the street. I am a pedestrian WITH A CHILD. Please use that steering wheel to slowly go around.
3. Jogging with a larger than average chest area proves to be difficult as mentioned before on this very blog. Jogging with a larger than average chest area that is now also storage for food for my child proves to be more than just difficult. I'll add this to the list of things they don't tell you in child preparation class.
4. Furthermore - appropriately timing daily cardio workouts is a must unless you want to show off leaks of Niagara Falls proportions. It took me only ONE time to learn that I must head out for a jog AFTER baby eats.
5. Jogging for me is not an easy task and it is made almost impossible at times when you add what feels like an extra 50 pounds of weight to push around. Jogging strollers feel light when you are just out for a leisurely stroll. They turn into giant rolling boulders when you attempt to run behind them.
6. Have you ever tried running without the use of your arms - Hello Lack of Coordination! I am still not used to this task yet and I'm sure it is quite entertaining for passersby as I attempt to master it.

I'm so thankful that little Bobbie Burrito is still too young to see the humor and humility in my ridiculous appearance as I parade her around the streets of our small town. One day she will be able to vocalize her opinion of my choices so I will enjoy our daily bonding until that time comes.

2014

The Wait Is Over

Actually, the wait was over last Thursday at exactly 12:34pm.

I have to keep my readers in suspense to make sure you are all still reading this silly thing. Most of you probably caught up with the news thanks to Aunt Mrs. over at One Carbon Hill (the punctual Aunt), but we  can always use a good dose of adorable baby photos. 

Introducing 8lbs 9oz and 20.25" of cuteness - Cayden Edwin Pokarney.

There are few things in life I know for certain, but I am confident in proclaiming the following facts.

• Big Sister Pebbles was made for her role as mentor and protector of this little guy.

• Mama CareBear and Daddy Titty Baby absolutely love when Aunt Llama and Aunt Big Boca Bob spend approximately 8 hours entertaining each other in the hospital room. We are the funniest people we know and we are not shy in sharing that message.
• This family of four shares a love that can match no other. When Officer Bob and I decide to start a family of our own, they will serve as inspiration for the true meaning of the word. I am grateful for the opportunity to sit back and watch them grow in their own happiness. Thank you for letting me be a tiny part of your magical world.

Passing The Time Waiting For The Brother of Pebbles

Yo.

Pebbles's Brother.

I'm talking to you.

Hurry up and get out here.

I am running out of things to occupy my time waiting for your arrival. While not so patiently waiting, I have realized the following:

1. Amazing Sidewalk Art Amazes Me - Simply Amazing

2. My Christmas List this year has exactly one item - a sleeping bag with legs. Yes. Please.

3. Ellen and I have been, currently are, and always will be BFFs.

Okay - so they may not be GREAT accomplishments, but I would like to think I am using my time wisely. I also decorated the house for holiday festivities. Officer Bob loves this time of year (note: sarcasm).

In conclusion, the suspense is killing me.

Let's go baby boy. Aunt Big Boca Bob is ready to do some cuddling :)

Happy Catalogidays

Today I walked to the mailbox (with hesitation I might add as I recently received a jury duty summons from said mailbox) and I peered inside only to find this.......

ELEVEN catalogs.

I am on the mailing list from crappy catalog heaven. So what does one do with all of this reading material? Take it to work and spend your lunch break gazing over the crappiest potential Christmas gifts ever. Obviously.

If anyone is looking for a willie warmer (used exactly for what you were thinking), a wine dispensing sports bra, an "I Survived Sharknado" tshirt, an electric peanut butter maker, a set of cat coasters, a crocodile bird feeder, a set of dress up squirrel magnets, a bacon popcorn kit, a Bigfoot ornament, a Wonder Woman Mrs. Potato Head, camouflage toilet paper, or a moose oven mitt, please let me know. I have resources for you.

The holiday season is officially here.

I have the mailbox to prove it.

P.S. The wine dispensing sports bra is on sale. Worth it.

#1 Most Awesome Thing About Being An Exercise Specialist

Wearing elastic waist sweatpants to work EVERY DAY in the winter

• No shaving legs
• No stress over "that time of the month" bloat
• No concern for holiday eating habits 

Every day I wake up about as happy as a tornado in a trailer park.

(and I dress like I live there)

Move Over Abby Lee

I really wish I had a digital copy of my very first dance recital. I was three years old. The song was Hula Hula Baby. I was wearing a gold shimmer hula skirt. It looked a little something like this.......

Dear Young Dance Factory Preschool Tap Girl,

Don't pay attention to your critics for you will someday blossom into a freestyle twerking angel. I once knew a girl in your same position - an enthusiasm for the stage and a colorful rhythm beating from your imaginative soul. That little girl turned into the REPEAT champion of her town's talent contest AND is able to add college bar Rihanna Dance-off Gold Medalist to the list of awards and recognitions on her resume. You keep on shining, my friend, for you are going places. I am a proud witness to your talents.

Broadway couldn't handle us, baby!

Fall Traditions

In case I haven't mentioned it before, I HEART FALL.

I heart the smell.
I heart the sound.
I heart the feel.
I heart the taste.

Fall is a sensory overload and I seriously can't get enough of it.

I believe my affinity for this specific season can be attributed to Mama Dirt and her sense of tradition. I was raised in a family that went apple picking every year the leaves began to change. We would watch football every Friday night, cook hot dogs over an open fire in the backyard, and engage in the sport of competitive pumpkin carving. I thank you, Mama Dirt, for making the time to let us breathe in the brisk fall air for I now get to share those experiences with new generations.

Unfortunately, I was unable to attend this year's apple picking trip with Huracan and his little bean burrito offspring, but the pictures I received via text message let me be a part of the action. It was reported that Beans was quite the determined little picker as she huffed and puffed and tugged at each apple within reach. Mama Dirt was forced to purchase more than a couple bushels as the stubborn Beans would just not quit. She will make a faithful employee someday. I love that girl to pieces.

This past weekend, CareBear, Titty Baby, Pebbles, Officer Bob, and I loaded up in the trusty blaze and made the trip to the orchard. The King and Niepoetter families completed our happy little caravan. We ventured out early Sunday morning. It would have been early Sunday morning had church not forced yours truly to hold up the trip. My tardiness was forgiven as there is obviously no competing with the Big Guy upstairs. In my absence from Pebbles lately, I have earned a new name. Her father has convinced Pebbles that I am "Brown Bear". Cute, huh? Yeah.....I didn't think so either. I guess there are worse things to which I could be compared. You know the saying - "Better to be a Brown Bear than a Titty Baby!"

Highlights from the trip include the following:

• Even at 8 months pregnant, CareBear is a fearless full of energy Mama.
• I love other people's kids (most of the time). The cuteness is overwhelming.
• Other people's kids are even cuter when they call me Mrs. Febuh.
• Pebbles is an independent woman who can not and will not be contained to being carried in single file lines. She needs to be given the freedom to fly on her own terms. Even if these terms mean riding on the footrest of a stroller in a very crowded orchard market.
• Officer Bob's friends are quietly funny. Just like him. It makes me happy.
• I don't like llamas. (Sorry Tina.) I just don't see the draw in these spitting smelly animals nor do I want to pay 25 cents to feed them tiny green pellets. Gross.
• I need to kick the habit of forgetting my camera when engaging in family traditions. These memories need to be captured.  
• Pumpkin picking is the perfect activity for an independent two year old ready to make grown up decisions like big pumpkin vs. wittle pumpkin. In case you were wondering, wittle pumpkin won.
• Titty Baby and I have the same sense of humor and we will always be funny. Always.

Officer Bob and I finished the weekend by watching football and drinking hot chocolate. Love.

"Autumn - the year's last, loveliest smile." - William Cullen Bryant

P.S. I am contemplating enrolling in PSLAA (Pumpkin Spice Latte Addicts Anonymous) Who's with me?

#HappySocktober

Check, Check, 1-2

Is this thing on?

Because I have no great excuse for my month long hiatus from the blogging world, I am not even going to try to create some lie about my rest from written word.

After a whirlwind of a summer, I feel renewed. I feel rejuvenated. I feel ready for what the world tosses my way. There a few unknowns in the Casa de Bob household, and it is too easy to get bogged down with the worries and the why's. Nonsense. "Life is too short to be anything but happy."

I truly believe that.

Seriously.

If anyone is even still reading this, I want to thank you. Thank you for being a part of this blog. Thank you for being a part of what inspires me. Thank you for being a part of inspiring who I will become.

The summer allowed me to bask in a fantasy of newlywed bliss, but the real world has been knocking on the door for the past few weeks, and I am finally ready to let him in. After he wipes his feet of course. I am ready to accept the challenges before me with an open mind and warm heart. I encourage you to do the same for it is in those moments that your true light can shine.

This blog will continue to remain an uncensored portrayal of life at Casa de Bob, but a recent video from Kid President has made me question the ultimate purpose of Big Boca Bob. People have the power to do great things - AMAZING things. Miley Cyrus aside, I really think the world is full of remarkable people with remarkable dreams. We can help each other make miracles happen and the world wide web can help us do it. Technology is this foreign tool that we as humans are still attempting to master. If you are looking for your own inspiration, I have an idea where you can start.

A message from Kid President:

"Let's take back the Internet and do something GREAT!

#HappySocktober

Challenge Accepted.

What about you?

I Think I Missed My One Week Deadline..........

Whoops!

Labor Day is in two weeks and what have I accomplished this summer?

Bridal showers, bachelorette parties, mud runs, baby showers, birthday parties, baseball games, road races, booze cruisin', weekend jet setting, girls night outs, weddings, and lots of quality time with friends and family. Life in your late twenties is pretty darn exhausting........incredibly entertaining..........but exhausting. The 2013 fun is only half over and the fall will keep bringing the fun. - as long as The Bobs can keep up. Phew!

In the midst of the summer crazy, I have failed to get regular updates on the growing jelly bean known as Gremlin. I have failed to spend quality time with my super adorable nieces and nephews who are all approaching their second birthdays. I have failed to complete home projects in desperate need of updating (We are currently unable to use the back door as the handle fell of months ago, and I have yet to fix it - The evening walk from the back garage to the front door has become part of the Bob daily routine.) I have failed to take my poor four legged children on regular walks because I am just too tired from all my people fun. I have failed to maintain a vacuumed household. I apologize to all those who my failures have affected.

HOWEVER, I HAVE fully succeeded my ONE major goal of summer 2013 - truly enjoy life as a newlywed. Check!