Commit To Get Fit!

On October 9th, I slowly jogged 26.2 miles (with a minor pit stop in the medical tent) and turned into a rock star when I crossed the finish line of my very first marathon crossing a HUGE line through a bucket list item I seriously thought I would never really succeed in completing. One would think I'm a super fit, lean, mean, running machine, right?!

WRONG!!!

Since the day I crossed that finish line, I have exercised approximately 0 days. Nada. Zilch. A Goose Egg.

I still use the excuse that I am STILL treating puss-filled blisters on the bottom of my foot from that dreadful day (which is totally true and totally disgusting), but just as the potential for me pursuing a career as a foot model is slowly slipping away so is the timeline for that excuse.

Pretty soon people are gonna ask my why I haven't engaged in ANY predetermined physical activity in over a month, and I will have to respond with - "Because I am a fat, lazy, slob with no desire to look presentable to the general population ever again!" While parts of this statement might be true, I can't have a career within the exercise science field while individually contributing to the obesity epidemic myself! I will have to resort to training people on how to loosen the seams in their shirts and insert elastic waistbands into dress pants rather than training to lose weight and build endurance.

Here's the story that started this all:

(I'm not going to tell you when or where this happened and who was in attendance because I am still slightly (greatly) embarrassed by said story.)

Ask any young girl about fads in fashion and many will respond with phrases such as "skinny jeans" and jeggings". For those of you like me who live in sweatpants and t-shirts, the word jeggings sounded like a made-up foreign language. Therefore, I turned to google for some insight.

Thank you, world wide web, for always being there for me when I need you. As a visual learner, I finally grasped the concept of this trend. The skinny, pretty, girls that wear their jeans/jeggings tucked into boots in the winter strutting down the sidewalk?! Yeah....I wanna be one of them.

So.....I ventured out with "the cool kids" to do some shopping in an effort to spruce up my wardrobe. After some convincing, I entered a dressing room with jeggings in hand to prove that I, too, can be one of the cool kids. I'm sure you can guess where this story is going. One leg after another I squeezed into the torture device with sounds similar to a hog in heat. There was quite a bit of grunting, huffing, and puffing that lead the poor individual in the dressing room next to mine to inquire if "I was ok in there?" Ever seen the documentaries on a sausage factory? The part where the pile of unknown meat gets shoved into the casing? Well I have. In the mirror that day at the mall.

I was finally able to praise myself when the jeggings made it up to the muffin top and the fat roll located around/near my naval spilled over the top. I reluctantly made the decision to not purchase the ridiculously dreadful attire and decided to take them off for return to the rack. However, this did not go as planned. The jeggings WOULD NOT peel away from my cottage cheese thighs. I scream to "the cool kids" for assistance...."HELP! I'm Seriously Stuck In These Things!" Do you think they help? NO! Do you think they pee their pants in laughter?! YES! Applications for new "cool kid friends" are currently being accepted.

This is where the plot thickens.

Do I

A: Wear them out of the store pretending it was my intent to purchase a new outfit for the day, anyway?

B: put my NORMAL PEOPLE jeans over the top of them, walk out of the store, and simply tell the clerk I need to test drive them before making a purchase?

C: Ask the poor, innocent, dressing room attendant for advice in how to remove my sausage legs from the torture device? This has to have happened before, right?!

or D: None of the above. Sulk in the dressing room for 15 minutes before becoming so infuriated that rage takes over my body and rips the jeggings from my body.

Answer: D

Note: I laugh at this story now, but it truly was one of the most traumatizing moments of my life.

And with all the information you just received, you are asking:

Big Boca Bob.....what are you going to do about all of this?

Well, my readers, I am devoting the next 90 days of my life to Tony Horton.

The man who created what I am only guessing will be "90 Days of H, E, Double Hockey Sticks" Officer Bob purchased p90x several months ago, told me it was quote "stupid" and never participated in the program. HOWEVER, after living through my "Jeggings Saga" I am bound and determined to see the end of this thing. And what is the reason I'm publicly posting this on my blog? Because this means, I CAN NOT FAIL. You have all been nominated as members of my accountability group.

The before pictures have been taken (under the guidance of Tony, of course). Yikes. These pictures are under lock and key unless something DRAMATIC happens over the course of the next 90 days. Today starts Day 1. In 90 days, if Tony does his job, I am going to confidently strut into that mall and purchase my very first pair of skinny jeans (eff the jeggings.....I'm pretty sure I will NEVER be ready for those).

Now, I extend this challenge to you. Let's spend the next 90 days together.

Who's with me?!