- (Minus the monochromatic attire, mullet, and prison time)
- (Also minus the triple F bra size.....I may be well endowed, but my half marathon training would be ten times harder trying to jog with those lady humps hanging off my front)
- You are my protector. My shield of strength. My go-to-guy when I need to kick some a**
- (Minus the six-pack abs, lack of respect for women, and horrible accent)
- You are my entertainer. Life is never boring with you around.
- (Minus my ability to fit into a slinky dress and thigh-high boots and your status as a millionaire)
- (Oh......and minus that whole prostitution thing)
- You are charming. You are not-so-romantic, but you still know how to win a girl over. You try to make me classier......good luck!
- (Minus the blood-sucking and skin glowing in the sun thing)
- You are quiet and mysterious at times. You are determined and very stubborn. You are very protective over me and put my welfare before anything else.
- (Minus my work in a convent-YEAH RIGHT! and seven kids - DOUBLE YEAH RIGHT!)
- You like to have order. You can be short at times, but with this charming way about you. You have a tough, quiet exterior, but melt my heart in the way you take care of others.
- (INCLUDING the physique, but minus the fact that I could never spend an ENTIRE summer with my family at a holiday camp)
- You've got moves. You can kill the dance floor (with the perculator). Our roles may have been switched. I was more the teacher and you more-so the student. However, you take control in every situation. Nobody puts me in the corner when you're around.
- (Minus the beggar/street urchin role and my being FORCED to live in a palace. And the pet tiger - though Gilbert comes close in size. Also minus the genie - if anyone knows where I can get one, let me know.)
- You sure are a "diamond in the rough" Even though you don't hold the title, you are my prince. Every day is a journey with you on our own magic carpet.
- (Minus the Spanish-speaking, tan complection, and "I'm Home" announcement every time you enter the front door)
- You put up with my naive and ambitious personality and my overactive imagination. I may get whiny at times, but you seem to love me anyway.
- (Minus the long hair, goatee, and inability to fully comprehend the worth of everyday items)
- You have a heart of gold and entertaining personality. People love you. I mean like EVERYBODY loves you. You sometimes can become the butt of my jokes, but you take it all in stride.
- (Minus the radioactive spider and ability to scale walls)
- You truly are a superhero and role model. You have an amazing work ethic. You always put others before you and would do anything for those closest to you.
- (Minus your affection for individuals of the same sex - I hope.........)
- You are my best friend. You know all my secrets. We talk about everything, and you are tied with Mama Dirt for the first person I call when I've had a bad day and just need to vent.
- (Minus the sit-com script and extremely over-bearing parents)
- You are funny. I mean really funny. You make me laugh every day. I look forward to the moment you come home after I've had a long day only because I know your quick wit will turn my day around.
- (Minus the high school drama but INCLUDING the spontaneous bursts into song)
- You are the jock and I'm the music nerd. You have the kindest heart always looking out for everyone's best interest. We are a rockin' couple and though your serenades may be a little off-key, I wouldn't dare turn one down.
- And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Feliz Cumpleanos Officer Bob!
I would have hired a hot, sexy, vivacious woman to jump out of your cake.........
but I didn't want to get any frosting in my hair.
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