Now that I have had a full week to recover, I am able to relive the events from last Saturday without curling in a ball and crying from pain and embarrassment. I would first like to state that during this brief recap of the 2010 Men's Health Urbanathlon, please do not mistake my ranting as a form of hatred towards this race. I had a BLAST competing with over 7,500 "athletes" (I use the term loosely as I'm not so sure I can put myself in this category just yet) in the beautiful scenery of downtown Chicago, and I will most definitely be be doing it all over again next year. However, at times during the run and ridiculous obstacles, I may have thrown out a few cuss words or two. You will be receiving the edited version of my thoughts during the race.
Jesse, his wife Abbey, and her sister Ashley, picked me up at Casa de Bob for our weekend adventure. I was already nervous for this race due to my lack of preparation and I immediately expressed my concern regarding the tortorous day ahead. I may be in the best shape of my life, but that does not deem me capable of competing in any race sponosred by "Men's Health"
Jesse and Abbey served as driver and navigator through downtown Chicago while Ashley and I rode comfortably in the backseat. Check-in took place at Hard Rock Hotel. We all forgive Abbey for the slight confusion between Hard Rock Cafe and Hard Rock Hotel. It could have happened to anyone, and I for one enjoyed the scenery of the bustling city. However,every time I take a drive through downtown Chicago, it reminds me more and more why I chose to settle in a town of 1400. I am NOT a city girl.
After recieving our t-shirts and $60 not-so-goody bags, we headed to Baker's Square to carb-load for the race. Meals were selected carefully and we definitely made the right choice in avoiding White Castle sliders the night before the race.
Saturday morning came way too quickly. It's not too often three girls can be dressed and ready in a half hour, but we weren't exactly going for looks here. Looking back at the pictures.......a little bit of makeup may not have been a bad idea. YIKES!
Pre-race Photos:
The face of the man above is the face of pure terror. Jesse was a veteran of this race as he had competed last year and was unable to move for the week following. He didn't exaclty instill any confidence in us three girls, but we forged ahead anyway.
In all honesty, I don't actually remember alot of the race. The scenery was BEAUTIFUL, and I truly enjoyed running down Lakeshore Drive in amazing weather. This may come as a surprise to you because I have never TRULY ENJOYED any long span of running. Trust me.....I couldn't believe it myself! I have done my best to remember the good, and block out the bad. However, I understand that is not nearly as entertaining to read. So.....I have prepared a short bullet list of memorable moments during the race.
- I informed Jesse I was not a "talker" when I ran. However, the lack of Ipod and his blabbering mouth turned me into a liar. I actually engaged in conversation the majority of the run. Looking back, this was a great choice as it kept my mind from thinking about how ridiculously hard I was breathing.
- I apologize to everyone in the vicinity of Mile Marker #5 for the cussing rant when the out-of-shape cramps mixed with the menstrual cramps and I honestly thought my life was coming to end. Thanks to the man who ran head first into the light pole for offering me some comic relief. I really needed it.
- Marine hurdles are ALOT taller than you think. The pamphlet said there would be three. There were NINE. After my upper body refused to cooperate anymore, I politely turned to Jesse to ask for a small boost. Fortunately, no man can turn down a whining, menstruating woman.
- I HATE MONKEY BARS! Who would have thought the hardest part of the race would have been the effing monkey bars? I must note that these were not your ordinary school playground monkey bars. These were the most ridiculous manly gorilla bars I have ever seen! I watched Jesse scale them no problem, closed my eyes, and prayed to the heavens for some assistance. Unfortunately, God must have been busy that morning because with only two rungs left, I hung there.....and hung there.....and cussed.....alot.......and then?......I fell. I jogged with my head down to the penalty area and completed my 25 push-ups in shame before moving on. Failure is not my thing. I will be competing in next year's race with one goal in mind. Make those monkey bars my b*&%#.
And then.....the END! Where I picked up my medal and paraded around as a kind-of-runner who barely made it through the day mixed with exceptional athletes who train all year for this. I thank my fellow competitors for making me do this. I am proud. I would like to take this time to brag and thank those who have supported my healthy transition over the last 8 months. Congratulations to myself, Abbey, Ashley, and Jesse. WE DID IT!
Also thanks to Mexico for creating the delightfully delicious Corona beer. It served as a GREAT form of hydration following the previous torture.
AND NOW......THE MOST EXCITING MOMENT OF THE DAY.......
Who was waiting for me at the finish line? Who stopped me to congratulate me on my finish?
The love of my life.........
A.C. SLATER
Next up? Half-Marathon!
Huracan......El Aguila......I'm talking to you!
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